By [http://ezinearticles.com/?expert=Steven_E_Templin,_II]Steven E Templin, II
"You're going to be a father!" Hearing those words should be the most memorable and happiest moment of a man's life. He should be overwhelmed with so many emotions running through his mind that he just wants to jump and scream for joy at top of his lungs. When I first heard those words it was the most memorable moment of my life, but it was not the happiest time of my life. Words could not express the feelings and the amount of fear I experienced. I had never been so afraid. I pictured my life being a little different, and in a better situation when I became a father. I thought I would be a college graduate, married, with a well paying job, and that the pregnancy would be planned. For me, things did not go as I thought.
On Monday November 16, 2009, my life changed completely. That was the day I found out that I was going to be a father. At the time I was a 20-year-old college student with no idea that I would become a father so young.
In my hometown, Knoxville, TN, it's common to see young parents. A lot of my friends became parents in high school, and some even in middle school. I see how they struggle, and all the difficulties they go through as parents such as stressing over money, having low paying jobs, barely being able to provide for their children, and I knew I didn't want that to be my life. I didn't want to become another statistic or fall into that same category.
A lot of people looked at me differently than my peers and had so many great expectations for me, not only because I was in college, but because I was always involved in something positive and stayed out of the streets. I knew for sure that having a baby before marriage did not fall into those expectations, so when I learned about the pregnancy, I instantly thought that my life was over. I thought it would change my life for the negative. "No more college, no more hanging out with my friends," those were the thoughts that constantly ran through my mind, so the first solution to come to my mind and out of my mouth was an "abortion."
At that time I felt like that was the best thing for me and the mother. We weren't ready for a baby. We were young, immature, and just not ready to be parents.
Then, I remembered the fact that I was not a planned baby either. My parents were a lot older than I was, and were in a much better situation than the mother of my child and I. If my parents had chosen to get an abortion, then I wouldn't be here today. As I began to think more about it I knew that getting an abortion was something I couldn't do. If we had chosen abortion, I knew I couldn't live with myself afterward. I couldn't live with the guilt of killing my child, or with the thought of letting more people down.
I still had to be the man I knew I was regardless of my situation. I believe a real man does not run from his problems, he faces them no matter what the situation. Abortion was then out of the question, and I regret even thinking about it.
I determined I would be the best father I could be, and not just be the type of father that thinks being a dad is sending money every month. I wanted to actually be there for my child, just like my father was there for me.
I feel that having a father in the home is better for a child, and leads to a better lifestyle than those who aren't blessed to have their father in the household. A lot of my childhood friends didn't grow up with their fathers in their home and I see how we are different from each other. Some of them aren't even in school, or are in jail and others are even dead. Some became fathers before me and aren't there for their children just as their fathers weren't there for them.
Cynthia Harper of the University of Pennsylvania and Sara S. McLanahan of Princeton University say, "Young men who grow up in homes without fathers are twice as likely to end up in jail as those who come from traditional two-parent families... those boys whose fathers were absent from the household had double the odds of being incarcerated -- even when other factors such as race, income, parent education and urban residence were held constant." Good fathers make good sons.
My son, Tylen Eric Templin, was born on July 15, 2010. Honestly it was the best day of my life! I thank God everyday for not letting us get that abortion. Tylen is the best thing that has happened to me. I can't even explain the joy I feel every time I look at him. Once I laid eyes on my son it definitely did something to me and affected me in a positive way. It's like nothing else in the world matters except my child. It was then when I truly understood the love that parents have for their children, that unconditional love that words just can't express, only actions.
If I could send one message to men who are either fathers or becoming fathers, it would be this--- be in your child's life. Don't just think being a father is sending that check every month. Be there, and actually spend time with your child. In the world today, children definitely need their fathers in their lives to give them the best chance for love and success, because when the fathers aren't there it affects them in a negative way and they miss out on that fatherly love. "Any man can be a dad, but it takes a special person to be a father." I have pledged my life that I'm going to be that special person, a father.
Article Source: [http://EzineArticles.com/?The-Love-Of-A-Father&id=6363369] The Love Of A Father
Friday, December 30, 2011
Wednesday, December 28, 2011
Life and Soul: Relationship of a Father and Child
By [http://ezinearticles.com/?expert=Ashley_Ayling]Ashley Ayling
Parents are one of the most important role models in a child's life. They are the ones who shape to their children's lives, character and future. One such dominant role is played by our fathers. Father's day is celebrated in honour of our fathers or father figures and as a show of love, respect and celebration to the importance of a father child relationship. It is this day when children get an opportunity to show their love, respect, affection for their fathers. This day is celebrated with a lot of enthusiasm in different parts of the world. Though this trend is mostly followed in western countries it is slowly arriving in Asian countries too where mother's day has also become popular. Father's day celebrations began in the earliest 20th century to celebrate paternal bonding and fatherhood. The first observance of father's day was in Fairmont, West Virginia on 5th June 1908 which was initiated by Mrs Grace Golden Clayton. She wanted to honour the lives of those fathers who were lost in Monongah Mining disaster. It was quite possible that she was influenced by the celebration of mother's day which was done in the same year a few miles away. It was since then that Fairmont was promoted as the "Home of First Father's Day Service". After this Father's day celebrations gained momentum and moved to other countries.
It is celebrated in different dates in different countries worldwide but most commonly on the third Sunday of June. However in many countries like Russia, Portugal, Denmark and certain Asian countries it is celebrated at another time.. Father's day is marked in many ways for instance a family meal, cards and presents family oriented activities, cooking their favourite food, playing their favourite movies or music. In other words it involves making that day special for their loving fathers.
Father's day is not only made special by the children for their fathers but also by the fathers for their children. They can do so by making new resolutions, promises for their betterment as well as betterment of their family. Another perspective of father's day is celebrating being a father and enjoying this day for the very first time where you are not only giving to your own father but are receiving a gift for being a father. The excitement that a father gets celebrating his first father's day is incomparable with any happiness in the world. On one had he has a joy of becoming a father and on the other hand new responsibilities of determining his child's future.
Father's day is celebrated to thank fathers for their unconditional contribution that they have made for their children to make their life rosy and pleasant. It is tribute paid by the children to their fathers on this wonderful day and making it memorable. It is to make them realise how special they are and how grateful their children are for having them in their lives.
Ashley Ayling represents the company [http://www.childrensgiftideas.com/shop/gift-hampers-for-children/]Children's Gifts Ideas - Specialises in creative play and traditional travel gifts and games. Childern's gift ideas can be the right place for you if you want to buy some [http://www.childrensgiftideas.com/]inspiring toys for kids or Children Gift Hampers.
Article Source: [http://EzineArticles.com/?Life-and-Soul:-Relationship-of-a-Father-and-Child&id=6362946] Life and Soul: Relationship of a Father and Child
Parents are one of the most important role models in a child's life. They are the ones who shape to their children's lives, character and future. One such dominant role is played by our fathers. Father's day is celebrated in honour of our fathers or father figures and as a show of love, respect and celebration to the importance of a father child relationship. It is this day when children get an opportunity to show their love, respect, affection for their fathers. This day is celebrated with a lot of enthusiasm in different parts of the world. Though this trend is mostly followed in western countries it is slowly arriving in Asian countries too where mother's day has also become popular. Father's day celebrations began in the earliest 20th century to celebrate paternal bonding and fatherhood. The first observance of father's day was in Fairmont, West Virginia on 5th June 1908 which was initiated by Mrs Grace Golden Clayton. She wanted to honour the lives of those fathers who were lost in Monongah Mining disaster. It was quite possible that she was influenced by the celebration of mother's day which was done in the same year a few miles away. It was since then that Fairmont was promoted as the "Home of First Father's Day Service". After this Father's day celebrations gained momentum and moved to other countries.
It is celebrated in different dates in different countries worldwide but most commonly on the third Sunday of June. However in many countries like Russia, Portugal, Denmark and certain Asian countries it is celebrated at another time.. Father's day is marked in many ways for instance a family meal, cards and presents family oriented activities, cooking their favourite food, playing their favourite movies or music. In other words it involves making that day special for their loving fathers.
Father's day is not only made special by the children for their fathers but also by the fathers for their children. They can do so by making new resolutions, promises for their betterment as well as betterment of their family. Another perspective of father's day is celebrating being a father and enjoying this day for the very first time where you are not only giving to your own father but are receiving a gift for being a father. The excitement that a father gets celebrating his first father's day is incomparable with any happiness in the world. On one had he has a joy of becoming a father and on the other hand new responsibilities of determining his child's future.
Father's day is celebrated to thank fathers for their unconditional contribution that they have made for their children to make their life rosy and pleasant. It is tribute paid by the children to their fathers on this wonderful day and making it memorable. It is to make them realise how special they are and how grateful their children are for having them in their lives.
Ashley Ayling represents the company [http://www.childrensgiftideas.com/shop/gift-hampers-for-children/]Children's Gifts Ideas - Specialises in creative play and traditional travel gifts and games. Childern's gift ideas can be the right place for you if you want to buy some [http://www.childrensgiftideas.com/]inspiring toys for kids or Children Gift Hampers.
Article Source: [http://EzineArticles.com/?Life-and-Soul:-Relationship-of-a-Father-and-Child&id=6362946] Life and Soul: Relationship of a Father and Child
Monday, December 26, 2011
10 Things Fathers Shouldn't Do
By [http://ezinearticles.com/?expert=Riza_Gumihid]Riza Gumihid
Fathers, do not make your children angry, but raise them with the training and teaching of the Lord. Ephesians 6:4
It is interesting to note that if there is a command for children to obey their parents and to honor them, there is also a command for parents, especially for fathers to not exasperate their children.
In the first century, when this passage was written, families were presided over by fathers who could do whatever they pleased in their homes. Rome had a law called patria potestas, which meant "the father's power". The children and the wife were regarded as the man's property, and he could do whatever he wished to do with them. When a child was born, the baby was placed between the father's feet. If the father picked up the baby, the child stayed in the home. If he turned and walked away, the child was either left to die or sold at auction.
It is in this context that Paul wrote, fathers do not exasperate your children, instead bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord.
Maybe it's good to ask, in what way do fathers make their children angry? What are some of the things that fathers do to provoke their children to wrath.
Here are some lists in no particular order:
1. Excessive Drinking.
2. Physically abusing their mothers. It is so infuriating for children to see a father who physically abuses their mother. It is said that the best way to earn your child's love and respect is for fathers to love their children's mother. To do otherwise invites conflict and disrespect.
3. Favoritism. Isaac favored Esau over Jacob, and Rebecca preferred Jacob over Esau. This caused the two brothers to be bitter, with Esau wanting to kill Jacob. Later, Joseph became Jacob's favorite. Joseph's brother planned to kill him, and later sold him into slavery because they are jealous that Jacob loved Joseph more.
4. Excessive controlling and over-protectiveness. There are times when fathers are too controlling and they want to decide every aspect of their children's life. However, fathers should teach their kids to stand on their own, to take risks, to decide on their own, and to even allow room for children to make mistakes and learn from them.
5. Laziness & irresponsibility. Some men just don't do anything to help around the house. All they want is to be served, and to b e entertained. Some have even turned the responsibility of providing for their family over to their wives.
6. Bad Temper. Bad temper ruins relationship. It makes a man do something that many times he regrets doing, but sad to say the damage is already done.
7. Verbal, physical, & emotional abuse. Many children are verbally, physically, & emotionally assaulted by their fathers leaving wounds and damage that sometimes last a lifetime.
8. Excessive discipline. Yes, fathers should discipline their children. But it should be out of love, and out of desire to to make their children better, not out of anger, impatience or self-centeredness.
9. Neglect. I read about Roland Warren who said, "My father died about three years ago and I had a difficult time at his funeral. You see, although my father and I had a good relationship at the time of his death, the painful fact is that for much of my life, he was absent.
10. Pressure his children. There are fathers who have unreasonable expectations, and they pressure their children to perform beyond their ability and capacity. I read about a child who cried when she got 95 out of 100 in an exam. When the teacher asked why, she said, "Because my father will spank me for every point away from 100."
Fathers, remember that God commanded your children to obey you and honor you. When you provoke them to anger, you make it difficult for your to obey the fifth commandment and you are causing them to sin. And so the Lord is telling you, "Fathers, do not exasperate your children."
Family Matters (Quality Life Through Simple Living) http://primrizonline.com
Article Source: [http://EzineArticles.com/?10-Things-Fathers-Shouldnt-Do&id=6373824] 10 Things Fathers Shouldn't Do
Fathers, do not make your children angry, but raise them with the training and teaching of the Lord. Ephesians 6:4
It is interesting to note that if there is a command for children to obey their parents and to honor them, there is also a command for parents, especially for fathers to not exasperate their children.
In the first century, when this passage was written, families were presided over by fathers who could do whatever they pleased in their homes. Rome had a law called patria potestas, which meant "the father's power". The children and the wife were regarded as the man's property, and he could do whatever he wished to do with them. When a child was born, the baby was placed between the father's feet. If the father picked up the baby, the child stayed in the home. If he turned and walked away, the child was either left to die or sold at auction.
It is in this context that Paul wrote, fathers do not exasperate your children, instead bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord.
Maybe it's good to ask, in what way do fathers make their children angry? What are some of the things that fathers do to provoke their children to wrath.
Here are some lists in no particular order:
1. Excessive Drinking.
2. Physically abusing their mothers. It is so infuriating for children to see a father who physically abuses their mother. It is said that the best way to earn your child's love and respect is for fathers to love their children's mother. To do otherwise invites conflict and disrespect.
3. Favoritism. Isaac favored Esau over Jacob, and Rebecca preferred Jacob over Esau. This caused the two brothers to be bitter, with Esau wanting to kill Jacob. Later, Joseph became Jacob's favorite. Joseph's brother planned to kill him, and later sold him into slavery because they are jealous that Jacob loved Joseph more.
4. Excessive controlling and over-protectiveness. There are times when fathers are too controlling and they want to decide every aspect of their children's life. However, fathers should teach their kids to stand on their own, to take risks, to decide on their own, and to even allow room for children to make mistakes and learn from them.
5. Laziness & irresponsibility. Some men just don't do anything to help around the house. All they want is to be served, and to b e entertained. Some have even turned the responsibility of providing for their family over to their wives.
6. Bad Temper. Bad temper ruins relationship. It makes a man do something that many times he regrets doing, but sad to say the damage is already done.
7. Verbal, physical, & emotional abuse. Many children are verbally, physically, & emotionally assaulted by their fathers leaving wounds and damage that sometimes last a lifetime.
8. Excessive discipline. Yes, fathers should discipline their children. But it should be out of love, and out of desire to to make their children better, not out of anger, impatience or self-centeredness.
9. Neglect. I read about Roland Warren who said, "My father died about three years ago and I had a difficult time at his funeral. You see, although my father and I had a good relationship at the time of his death, the painful fact is that for much of my life, he was absent.
10. Pressure his children. There are fathers who have unreasonable expectations, and they pressure their children to perform beyond their ability and capacity. I read about a child who cried when she got 95 out of 100 in an exam. When the teacher asked why, she said, "Because my father will spank me for every point away from 100."
Fathers, remember that God commanded your children to obey you and honor you. When you provoke them to anger, you make it difficult for your to obey the fifth commandment and you are causing them to sin. And so the Lord is telling you, "Fathers, do not exasperate your children."
Family Matters (Quality Life Through Simple Living) http://primrizonline.com
Article Source: [http://EzineArticles.com/?10-Things-Fathers-Shouldnt-Do&id=6373824] 10 Things Fathers Shouldn't Do
Saturday, December 24, 2011
Young Guys Living With Their Parents Don't Become Men
By [http://ezinearticles.com/?expert=Ken_Solin]Ken Solin
While a lot of Boomer men seem stuck in their time warps, many younger guys appear to be in a different but equally dysfunctional warp, the parental warp. The fathers of sons now in their twenties and thirties, raised them with little or no information about their own manhood. The results were predictable.
Character is only built through facing up to hardships and challenges. No man ever developed character simply because he was born into money or because he never left home. The young men who move back into their parents' homes for financial or other reasons aren't facing their challenges, and are likely to become men with little noticeable character. That's unfortunate and unnecessary.
Too many young men are clueless about women or how to be in successful relationships. They know how to hook-up, but that doesn't mean they know what an actual relationship looks like. Being sexual isn't much of a struggle for young guys, but adding an emotional component to make it into a relationship remains a mystery. Living at home doesn't allow for much social development.
It might have helped if fathers had been teaching their sons what acting like a man actually looks like, but since most fathers were never taught either, their sons grew up as devoid of a notion of manhood as they did.
Each time a father shares with me that he's allowed his son to move back into his home, I shudder to think how that young man's development has been arrested. He's moving backward. He's like a man who's wearing an emotional diaper.
It seems like it's all falling apart for young guys who have been waiting in vain for useful lessons from their dysfunctional fathers. Rather than teaching their sons how to fend for themselves, fathers move them back into their boyhood bedrooms. What type of man is this likely to produce? He will have a boy's emotional range and a man's body. It sounds like a horror movie.
This purported act of kindness is in fact incredibly unkind. Fathers inflict their own fears onto their sons by coddling them instead of nurturing them. The difference is that men who are coddled never grow into functioning men, while men who are nurtured are prepared to fend for themselves.
Fathers, who contend that they could never put their sons out on the street because they can't find jobs or affordable housing, aren't looking forward or acting like caring fathers. They aren't considering the damage they're doing to their sons. What's worse, a young man who has to flip burgers for a while and share an apartment with six other young guys, or a young man who spends his days and nights in his boyhood bedroom pretending to be a man?
For twenty years, author and lecturer Ken Solin has helped men move beyond the issues that limit their lives. Both men and women follow Ken since his work is primarily about relationships.
Ken's website, http://www.kensolin.com/ is filled blogs about real life problems.
There's a frank, gritty, 42 minute television pilot about men that will surprise men and women alike.
There's also book excerpts from Ken's new, soon to be published book, Eight Angry Men.
Article Source: [http://EzineArticles.com/?Young-Guys-Living-With-Their-Parents-Dont-Become-Men&id=6383999] Young Guys Living With Their Parents Don't Become Men
While a lot of Boomer men seem stuck in their time warps, many younger guys appear to be in a different but equally dysfunctional warp, the parental warp. The fathers of sons now in their twenties and thirties, raised them with little or no information about their own manhood. The results were predictable.
Character is only built through facing up to hardships and challenges. No man ever developed character simply because he was born into money or because he never left home. The young men who move back into their parents' homes for financial or other reasons aren't facing their challenges, and are likely to become men with little noticeable character. That's unfortunate and unnecessary.
Too many young men are clueless about women or how to be in successful relationships. They know how to hook-up, but that doesn't mean they know what an actual relationship looks like. Being sexual isn't much of a struggle for young guys, but adding an emotional component to make it into a relationship remains a mystery. Living at home doesn't allow for much social development.
It might have helped if fathers had been teaching their sons what acting like a man actually looks like, but since most fathers were never taught either, their sons grew up as devoid of a notion of manhood as they did.
Each time a father shares with me that he's allowed his son to move back into his home, I shudder to think how that young man's development has been arrested. He's moving backward. He's like a man who's wearing an emotional diaper.
It seems like it's all falling apart for young guys who have been waiting in vain for useful lessons from their dysfunctional fathers. Rather than teaching their sons how to fend for themselves, fathers move them back into their boyhood bedrooms. What type of man is this likely to produce? He will have a boy's emotional range and a man's body. It sounds like a horror movie.
This purported act of kindness is in fact incredibly unkind. Fathers inflict their own fears onto their sons by coddling them instead of nurturing them. The difference is that men who are coddled never grow into functioning men, while men who are nurtured are prepared to fend for themselves.
Fathers, who contend that they could never put their sons out on the street because they can't find jobs or affordable housing, aren't looking forward or acting like caring fathers. They aren't considering the damage they're doing to their sons. What's worse, a young man who has to flip burgers for a while and share an apartment with six other young guys, or a young man who spends his days and nights in his boyhood bedroom pretending to be a man?
For twenty years, author and lecturer Ken Solin has helped men move beyond the issues that limit their lives. Both men and women follow Ken since his work is primarily about relationships.
Ken's website, http://www.kensolin.com/ is filled blogs about real life problems.
There's a frank, gritty, 42 minute television pilot about men that will surprise men and women alike.
There's also book excerpts from Ken's new, soon to be published book, Eight Angry Men.
Article Source: [http://EzineArticles.com/?Young-Guys-Living-With-Their-Parents-Dont-Become-Men&id=6383999] Young Guys Living With Their Parents Don't Become Men
Thursday, December 22, 2011
The Reward For Being A Good Father Is Bigger Than Money
By [http://ezinearticles.com/?expert=Ken_Solin]Ken Solin
My life has been blessed in many ways, but my single greatest blessing was the opportunity to be a father. I raised my son as a single dad from the time he was a year old. There are lots of philosophies regarding what constitutes a good father, but my experience is that it's actually simple to define. Mostly, it was about personal sacrifice, and in addition to the sacrifice, I was willing to work hard to achieve my goal, which was to produce the best man possible.
Fathering a son well is an experience for which a man doesn't get a second chance. Forgetting for the moment, all the imaginable excuses for not getting this right, your responsibility to your son is entirely open-ended. Forget the fantasy that once your son goes off to college, you're finished. You're never finished, but the nature of your relationship with him evolves into a loving friendship. Nothing, including your career, takes precedence over being the best father possible. Your son's every need is yours to provide or not. Giving up a Saturday morning ball game with your friends, to spend that time with your son instead, is a sacrifice that your son will remember for the rest of his life. It creates the memories you and your son will always share.
Nothing I've ever accomplished in my life comes close to the joyous feeling I have in my heart about consistently doing the best I could for my son. There's a fallacy that suggests it's about the quality of time spent with a son that matters more than the quantity. My experience suggests it's both. Since I was a single dad, I was the only parent he could depend on. Fathers who co-parent should also consider sacrificing their own agendas in favor of their son's needs.
I coached his soccer and baseball teams, baked cookies for school events, drove on school outings, and hosted my share of sleep-overs. I carefully monitored his education and augmented it when necessary.
I set realistic boundaries for both of us around appropriate behavior. I showed respect for his personal preferences in music, hair styles, clothing, and friends. That didn't mean I rubber stamped everything he wanted to do, but rather that I took the time to understand what he wanted to do and tried to guide him in a positive direction. When I couldn't, and it was clear to me he was on a dangerous path, I was a good parent, which meant I was willing to be unpopular and make difficult decisions. He didn't need me to be his friend; he needed me to be his father.
I didn't try to make him into some version of me either. I allowed for our differences in opinions about politics, career goals, and anything else. When he graduated from high school and decided he wasn't ready to go to college, but wanted to join the Marines instead, we spent hours talking about his reasons for enlisting. I didn't try to talk him out of his choice, but wanted him to articulate his reasons for wanting to enlist. He needed my signature because he was only seventeen.
I sat down with his recruiting Sergeant and found out that the toughest school the Marines offered was computer repair for ground to air missiles. I signed on the condition that my son was given that specific training. Since it was primarily about computers, my son mustered out three years later with solid computer skills.
He enrolled in college full-time and received his B.S. in Economics. Since I had promised to pay his way before he was a Marine, I paid for college, but I also insisted he work part-time. He ended up working thirty hours a week and carrying a full load. The Marines taught him discipline. He took his first job after graduating, in Denver, an airplane flight away. I was heartbroken, but he reminded me that this was his life to live, not mine. I raised him to be independent, and he was.
My son and I have had a non-stop, loving relationship for his entire forty-four years. My grandson is seven, and I notice that my son is a better dad than I was. My relationship with my father had been violent and neglectful, and I was determined to be a better father and man. I couldn't be more proud of my son. I told him recently that he was the dad I wished I'd had.
All the sacrifices I made seem insignificant compared to the joy I've received. I wouldn't trade having been a dad for anything. If you're a new dad, put in the work and be able to say the same thing about your son when he's grown. No matter your career or other life experiences, nothing rivals the feeling of having a son who loves you and appreciates what you've done for him.
For twenty years, author and lecturer Ken Solin has helped men move beyond the issues that limit their lives. Both men and women follow Ken since his work is primarily about relationships.
Ken's website, http://www.kensolin.com/ is filled blogs about real life problems.
There's a frank, gritty, 42 minute television pilot about men that will surprise men and women alike.
There's also book excerpts from Ken's new, soon to be published book, Eight Angry Men.
Article Source: [http://EzineArticles.com/?The-Reward-For-Being-A-Good-Father-Is-Bigger-Than-Money&id=6387012] The Reward For Being A Good Father Is Bigger Than Money
My life has been blessed in many ways, but my single greatest blessing was the opportunity to be a father. I raised my son as a single dad from the time he was a year old. There are lots of philosophies regarding what constitutes a good father, but my experience is that it's actually simple to define. Mostly, it was about personal sacrifice, and in addition to the sacrifice, I was willing to work hard to achieve my goal, which was to produce the best man possible.
Fathering a son well is an experience for which a man doesn't get a second chance. Forgetting for the moment, all the imaginable excuses for not getting this right, your responsibility to your son is entirely open-ended. Forget the fantasy that once your son goes off to college, you're finished. You're never finished, but the nature of your relationship with him evolves into a loving friendship. Nothing, including your career, takes precedence over being the best father possible. Your son's every need is yours to provide or not. Giving up a Saturday morning ball game with your friends, to spend that time with your son instead, is a sacrifice that your son will remember for the rest of his life. It creates the memories you and your son will always share.
Nothing I've ever accomplished in my life comes close to the joyous feeling I have in my heart about consistently doing the best I could for my son. There's a fallacy that suggests it's about the quality of time spent with a son that matters more than the quantity. My experience suggests it's both. Since I was a single dad, I was the only parent he could depend on. Fathers who co-parent should also consider sacrificing their own agendas in favor of their son's needs.
I coached his soccer and baseball teams, baked cookies for school events, drove on school outings, and hosted my share of sleep-overs. I carefully monitored his education and augmented it when necessary.
I set realistic boundaries for both of us around appropriate behavior. I showed respect for his personal preferences in music, hair styles, clothing, and friends. That didn't mean I rubber stamped everything he wanted to do, but rather that I took the time to understand what he wanted to do and tried to guide him in a positive direction. When I couldn't, and it was clear to me he was on a dangerous path, I was a good parent, which meant I was willing to be unpopular and make difficult decisions. He didn't need me to be his friend; he needed me to be his father.
I didn't try to make him into some version of me either. I allowed for our differences in opinions about politics, career goals, and anything else. When he graduated from high school and decided he wasn't ready to go to college, but wanted to join the Marines instead, we spent hours talking about his reasons for enlisting. I didn't try to talk him out of his choice, but wanted him to articulate his reasons for wanting to enlist. He needed my signature because he was only seventeen.
I sat down with his recruiting Sergeant and found out that the toughest school the Marines offered was computer repair for ground to air missiles. I signed on the condition that my son was given that specific training. Since it was primarily about computers, my son mustered out three years later with solid computer skills.
He enrolled in college full-time and received his B.S. in Economics. Since I had promised to pay his way before he was a Marine, I paid for college, but I also insisted he work part-time. He ended up working thirty hours a week and carrying a full load. The Marines taught him discipline. He took his first job after graduating, in Denver, an airplane flight away. I was heartbroken, but he reminded me that this was his life to live, not mine. I raised him to be independent, and he was.
My son and I have had a non-stop, loving relationship for his entire forty-four years. My grandson is seven, and I notice that my son is a better dad than I was. My relationship with my father had been violent and neglectful, and I was determined to be a better father and man. I couldn't be more proud of my son. I told him recently that he was the dad I wished I'd had.
All the sacrifices I made seem insignificant compared to the joy I've received. I wouldn't trade having been a dad for anything. If you're a new dad, put in the work and be able to say the same thing about your son when he's grown. No matter your career or other life experiences, nothing rivals the feeling of having a son who loves you and appreciates what you've done for him.
For twenty years, author and lecturer Ken Solin has helped men move beyond the issues that limit their lives. Both men and women follow Ken since his work is primarily about relationships.
Ken's website, http://www.kensolin.com/ is filled blogs about real life problems.
There's a frank, gritty, 42 minute television pilot about men that will surprise men and women alike.
There's also book excerpts from Ken's new, soon to be published book, Eight Angry Men.
Article Source: [http://EzineArticles.com/?The-Reward-For-Being-A-Good-Father-Is-Bigger-Than-Money&id=6387012] The Reward For Being A Good Father Is Bigger Than Money
Tuesday, December 20, 2011
Successful Single Father Parenting Tips
By [http://ezinearticles.com/?expert=Aladin_Lazaro_Legaspi]Aladin Lazaro Legaspi
Life is full of challenges, problems, and necessities. We have our own preferences on addressing the situations and occurrences of such life encounters. This life-long fact made life hard and difficult especially for single parents with responsibilities for both themselves and their dependent or dependents. Single father parenting is not exempted to this hardship of life. Many legal issues and instances portray the failure of fatherhood to support their child or children.
We should not criticize single fathers who failed to do their parenting responsibilities without first knowing the true story, but the situation can be a good source of facts and information to counteract such failure. There are some general tips that may come helpful to fathers subjected to this kind of experience and may increase their productivity, rest, and family bonding time.
The first tip is to have a proper budget management. Fathers tend to be sloppy in terms of family financial budgeting. Not because they lack the knowledge or experience in such matter but it is a fact that they are more emotional when it comes to the need of their love ones. Proper budgeting has been an effective way to satisfy needs even if the resources come short. This activity will prevent future financial problems and maintain a considerable means to surpass everyday living.
A fully managed time comes very reliable for single fathers. They should remember that their responsibility is both a mother and a father meaning they are solely responsible for the jobs of a two person. A more focus side to one of the responsibility will be a lesser reliability to the other. This requires well-distributed time for both aspect of single parenting. Not only will time management arranged time allocation for the children and works, it also gives father the little time they need for themselves.
The next tip will be to maintain a good health. The responsibility alone is hard enough so getting sick or ill should not add more stress and pressure along the way. Father's healthy condition gave them effectiveness to perform their obligations, duties, and responsibilities. Having the right attitude towards health will best accompany single fathers in their parenting.
The last tip is to seek for help of others. Sometimes a man's pride made them to take all responsibility regardless of what must be proper and right. In such situation, it is best to seek aid, guidance, and support of relatives and friends that may help in the process of single parenting.
Aladin Legaspi has been an online writer for 3 years. He has gained enough writing skills, knowledge, and experiences to professionally address writing needs and necessities. Those seeking assistance for online service can reach him at [mailto:aladinlegaspi@yahoo.com]aladinlegaspi@yahoo.com.
Article Source: [http://EzineArticles.com/?Successful-Single-Father-Parenting-Tips&id=6379439] Successful Single Father Parenting Tips
Life is full of challenges, problems, and necessities. We have our own preferences on addressing the situations and occurrences of such life encounters. This life-long fact made life hard and difficult especially for single parents with responsibilities for both themselves and their dependent or dependents. Single father parenting is not exempted to this hardship of life. Many legal issues and instances portray the failure of fatherhood to support their child or children.
We should not criticize single fathers who failed to do their parenting responsibilities without first knowing the true story, but the situation can be a good source of facts and information to counteract such failure. There are some general tips that may come helpful to fathers subjected to this kind of experience and may increase their productivity, rest, and family bonding time.
The first tip is to have a proper budget management. Fathers tend to be sloppy in terms of family financial budgeting. Not because they lack the knowledge or experience in such matter but it is a fact that they are more emotional when it comes to the need of their love ones. Proper budgeting has been an effective way to satisfy needs even if the resources come short. This activity will prevent future financial problems and maintain a considerable means to surpass everyday living.
A fully managed time comes very reliable for single fathers. They should remember that their responsibility is both a mother and a father meaning they are solely responsible for the jobs of a two person. A more focus side to one of the responsibility will be a lesser reliability to the other. This requires well-distributed time for both aspect of single parenting. Not only will time management arranged time allocation for the children and works, it also gives father the little time they need for themselves.
The next tip will be to maintain a good health. The responsibility alone is hard enough so getting sick or ill should not add more stress and pressure along the way. Father's healthy condition gave them effectiveness to perform their obligations, duties, and responsibilities. Having the right attitude towards health will best accompany single fathers in their parenting.
The last tip is to seek for help of others. Sometimes a man's pride made them to take all responsibility regardless of what must be proper and right. In such situation, it is best to seek aid, guidance, and support of relatives and friends that may help in the process of single parenting.
Aladin Legaspi has been an online writer for 3 years. He has gained enough writing skills, knowledge, and experiences to professionally address writing needs and necessities. Those seeking assistance for online service can reach him at [mailto:aladinlegaspi@yahoo.com]aladinlegaspi@yahoo.com.
Article Source: [http://EzineArticles.com/?Successful-Single-Father-Parenting-Tips&id=6379439] Successful Single Father Parenting Tips
Sunday, December 18, 2011
Father Vs Dad - What Is the Difference?
By [http://ezinearticles.com/?expert=Malik_Amit]Malik Amit
The term 'Dad' is usually a sibling term. Put simply, 'Dad' is used in relation to family affection, but 'Father' when relating to parental responsibility: Yet strangely, to be called a 'Dad' depends firstly upon a recognised 'Father-figure' in discipline. The one makes way for the other, occasioning the paradox of individual freedom(s) made possible by respecting personal and social boundaries. So, the father-figure disciplinarian, (i.e. teacher) sets sensible boundaries, that growth in bonding may take place without violating another's personal space; hence respect.
If family values are initially taught to siblings, they can experience a freedom through being instinctively obedient; liberated from the irritation of constant parental correction, and so accelerating maturation.
Of course, one could be a father in name only, but to be a 'Dad' in the real sense implies a more intimate family relationship.
The first step is to acquire the key family value of respect for the members of the family. This is done by learning to address each member of the family respectfully, e.g. the father and mother must never be referred to as 'the old man' and 'the old lady'. Respect spawns obedience for authority, which becomes evident in teachable children - a dream-come-true for every school teacher.
Respect shown to each family member creates a sense of personal worth, of being addressed in his/her own right, and promotes good, healthy attitudes.
Of course, all this does not happen by magic, as the vital element in all relationships is love, and a man can only be a dad if he gives time and attention to his wife and children, which in certain circumstances may be difficult, but time for them shows their importance and priority in his life.
Children relate easily to pictures. Honourable dads are also good visual examples. Most fathers love their children but that is not the same as being a father figure. Young children are formatively influenced by what they see and experience e.g. affection, gentleness etc. Conversely, anger or selfishness displayed will, (naturally), promote negative traits.
A distinct lack of real dads in this generation of grown-ups has spawned a modern mass of feral youngsters; those who feel that they do not belong; left on the threshold of life, never having been taught how to enter in.
To sup-up the paternal difference:
A 'Father' maybe said to be what a child necessarily relates to.
A 'Dad is what children proudly and affectionately look up to.
Author: Malik Amit
Website Address: http://thatsminedad.com
Here at thatsminedad.com, we have linked with some of the leading companies in the country to provide dads with a one-stop shop and resource of helps and self-helps that would help foster their relationship with their children. If you are looking to build your relationship with your children then please visit us at http://thatsminedad.com
Article Source: [http://EzineArticles.com/?Father-Vs-Dad---What-Is-the-Difference?&id=6381399] Father Vs Dad - What Is the Difference?
The term 'Dad' is usually a sibling term. Put simply, 'Dad' is used in relation to family affection, but 'Father' when relating to parental responsibility: Yet strangely, to be called a 'Dad' depends firstly upon a recognised 'Father-figure' in discipline. The one makes way for the other, occasioning the paradox of individual freedom(s) made possible by respecting personal and social boundaries. So, the father-figure disciplinarian, (i.e. teacher) sets sensible boundaries, that growth in bonding may take place without violating another's personal space; hence respect.
If family values are initially taught to siblings, they can experience a freedom through being instinctively obedient; liberated from the irritation of constant parental correction, and so accelerating maturation.
Of course, one could be a father in name only, but to be a 'Dad' in the real sense implies a more intimate family relationship.
The first step is to acquire the key family value of respect for the members of the family. This is done by learning to address each member of the family respectfully, e.g. the father and mother must never be referred to as 'the old man' and 'the old lady'. Respect spawns obedience for authority, which becomes evident in teachable children - a dream-come-true for every school teacher.
Respect shown to each family member creates a sense of personal worth, of being addressed in his/her own right, and promotes good, healthy attitudes.
Of course, all this does not happen by magic, as the vital element in all relationships is love, and a man can only be a dad if he gives time and attention to his wife and children, which in certain circumstances may be difficult, but time for them shows their importance and priority in his life.
Children relate easily to pictures. Honourable dads are also good visual examples. Most fathers love their children but that is not the same as being a father figure. Young children are formatively influenced by what they see and experience e.g. affection, gentleness etc. Conversely, anger or selfishness displayed will, (naturally), promote negative traits.
A distinct lack of real dads in this generation of grown-ups has spawned a modern mass of feral youngsters; those who feel that they do not belong; left on the threshold of life, never having been taught how to enter in.
To sup-up the paternal difference:
A 'Father' maybe said to be what a child necessarily relates to.
A 'Dad is what children proudly and affectionately look up to.
Author: Malik Amit
Website Address: http://thatsminedad.com
Here at thatsminedad.com, we have linked with some of the leading companies in the country to provide dads with a one-stop shop and resource of helps and self-helps that would help foster their relationship with their children. If you are looking to build your relationship with your children then please visit us at http://thatsminedad.com
Article Source: [http://EzineArticles.com/?Father-Vs-Dad---What-Is-the-Difference?&id=6381399] Father Vs Dad - What Is the Difference?
Friday, December 16, 2011
90% Of Being A Successful Father Is Showing Up
By [http://ezinearticles.com/?expert=Ken_Solin]Ken Solin
Woody Allen says 90% of success in life is showing up. That's definitely true for being a good father. Your wife delivers the baby, but the ball is in your end of the court, half of the time, after that.
I was terrified when I brought my infant son home from the hospital. I looked at the tiny, six pound, six-ounce, boy and nearly panicked when I realized he was going to be living with me. I didn't know how to feed him, change him, or get him to stop crying. I was afraid to hold him. I was the ultimate newbie dad. I wasn't confident I'd be able to fill a father's shoes.
I was a full-time, financially strapped, married, twenty-year old college student when my son was born. I had no money, and only one way to get any. I worked five part-time jobs during the day and into the night to pay the rent and feed my wife and son. Sometimes I ate dinner, and sometimes I didn't. I was that close to the edge, and still had seven months to go before graduating.
While I didn't have any choice about showing up, in person, showing up emotionally was a choice. My anxiety level was through the roof just thinking about being responsible for such a small, helpless human being.
I suppose it's obvious, my son wasn't planned. While a baby is born whether he's planned or not, intention does play a helpful role in mapping out a baby's life. My financial instability worried me every minute of every day, and I feared being poor even more than I feared being a father.
My marriage to a young French girl I'd met studying in London was a disaster. I had made a complete mess of my life. My wife and I divorced just after I graduated college. She went back to France, but I refused to allow her to take my son with her. He was American by birth and consequently I was given sole custody of a one year old.
I was a wobbly father at first. I had just begun my career after college and needed more sleep than I was getting. I remember trying to get my son to sleep through the night. I thought that a small amount of oatmeal mixed into his night bottle might stick to his ribs and help him sleep longer. I used a hot needle to make a bigger opening in the nipple and fed my son the mixture. It worked. I had discovered that at least some of being a parent was being innovative.
When I think about raising that baby forty-four years later, the beginning seems like a foggy dream. I went to work, hunkered down and made a living. I found a wonderful woman to take care of my son during the day, and when I traveled for business. Life as a single dad was good. I spent nearly all my free time with my son. I didn't have much of a social life for a decade, but I felt something in my heart that directed all my energies to him.
Somewhere along this journey, I fell in love with my son, and I've adored him ever since. I raised him as a single dad for most of his childhood. I'd do it again in a heartbeat. Raising my son was the greatest achievement in my life.
Did I do a good job? When I look at the man he is today, I'm certain I did. I have a seven-year old grandson, and for the first time in my family's history, there are three generations of Solin men living at the same time. We all share a sense of unconditional love for each other. When my grandson wraps his arms around my neck, kisses my cheek, and tells me, "I love you Grandpa Kenny", I feel the same joy I felt with my son.
Since I was my son's only parent, showing up wasn't really an option for me. But it's not really an option for any father. Granted, there are circumstances under which it's far more difficult to become emotionally involved, but in the end, a son needs his father to nourish him emotionally as much as he needs food. And, a woman can't be expected to raise a son without the much-needed, male influence of his father.
If you're a new dad, congratulations. I hope you find it in your heart to show up. I promise you'll never be sorry. I'd like to hear from new dads, and I'm open to sharing what I've learned, so please feel free to write and tell me your story.
For twenty years, author and lecturer Ken Solin has helped men move beyond the issues that limit their lives. Both men and women follow Ken since his work is primarily about relationships.
Ken's website, http://www.kensolin.com/ is filled blogs about real life problems.
There's a frank, gritty, 42 minute television pilot about men that will surprise men and women alike.
There's also book excerpts from Ken's new, soon to be published book, Eight Angry Men.
Article Source: [http://EzineArticles.com/?90%-Of-Being-A-Successful-Father-Is-Showing-Up&id=6389841] 90% Of Being A Successful Father Is Showing Up
Woody Allen says 90% of success in life is showing up. That's definitely true for being a good father. Your wife delivers the baby, but the ball is in your end of the court, half of the time, after that.
I was terrified when I brought my infant son home from the hospital. I looked at the tiny, six pound, six-ounce, boy and nearly panicked when I realized he was going to be living with me. I didn't know how to feed him, change him, or get him to stop crying. I was afraid to hold him. I was the ultimate newbie dad. I wasn't confident I'd be able to fill a father's shoes.
I was a full-time, financially strapped, married, twenty-year old college student when my son was born. I had no money, and only one way to get any. I worked five part-time jobs during the day and into the night to pay the rent and feed my wife and son. Sometimes I ate dinner, and sometimes I didn't. I was that close to the edge, and still had seven months to go before graduating.
While I didn't have any choice about showing up, in person, showing up emotionally was a choice. My anxiety level was through the roof just thinking about being responsible for such a small, helpless human being.
I suppose it's obvious, my son wasn't planned. While a baby is born whether he's planned or not, intention does play a helpful role in mapping out a baby's life. My financial instability worried me every minute of every day, and I feared being poor even more than I feared being a father.
My marriage to a young French girl I'd met studying in London was a disaster. I had made a complete mess of my life. My wife and I divorced just after I graduated college. She went back to France, but I refused to allow her to take my son with her. He was American by birth and consequently I was given sole custody of a one year old.
I was a wobbly father at first. I had just begun my career after college and needed more sleep than I was getting. I remember trying to get my son to sleep through the night. I thought that a small amount of oatmeal mixed into his night bottle might stick to his ribs and help him sleep longer. I used a hot needle to make a bigger opening in the nipple and fed my son the mixture. It worked. I had discovered that at least some of being a parent was being innovative.
When I think about raising that baby forty-four years later, the beginning seems like a foggy dream. I went to work, hunkered down and made a living. I found a wonderful woman to take care of my son during the day, and when I traveled for business. Life as a single dad was good. I spent nearly all my free time with my son. I didn't have much of a social life for a decade, but I felt something in my heart that directed all my energies to him.
Somewhere along this journey, I fell in love with my son, and I've adored him ever since. I raised him as a single dad for most of his childhood. I'd do it again in a heartbeat. Raising my son was the greatest achievement in my life.
Did I do a good job? When I look at the man he is today, I'm certain I did. I have a seven-year old grandson, and for the first time in my family's history, there are three generations of Solin men living at the same time. We all share a sense of unconditional love for each other. When my grandson wraps his arms around my neck, kisses my cheek, and tells me, "I love you Grandpa Kenny", I feel the same joy I felt with my son.
Since I was my son's only parent, showing up wasn't really an option for me. But it's not really an option for any father. Granted, there are circumstances under which it's far more difficult to become emotionally involved, but in the end, a son needs his father to nourish him emotionally as much as he needs food. And, a woman can't be expected to raise a son without the much-needed, male influence of his father.
If you're a new dad, congratulations. I hope you find it in your heart to show up. I promise you'll never be sorry. I'd like to hear from new dads, and I'm open to sharing what I've learned, so please feel free to write and tell me your story.
For twenty years, author and lecturer Ken Solin has helped men move beyond the issues that limit their lives. Both men and women follow Ken since his work is primarily about relationships.
Ken's website, http://www.kensolin.com/ is filled blogs about real life problems.
There's a frank, gritty, 42 minute television pilot about men that will surprise men and women alike.
There's also book excerpts from Ken's new, soon to be published book, Eight Angry Men.
Article Source: [http://EzineArticles.com/?90%-Of-Being-A-Successful-Father-Is-Showing-Up&id=6389841] 90% Of Being A Successful Father Is Showing Up
Wednesday, December 14, 2011
Three Must-Knows For New Dads
By [http://ezinearticles.com/?expert=Valentina_Kaltchev]Valentina Kaltchev
There has been much written for the Expecting-Moms and for New Moms, but the Dads or Soon-To-Be Dads are somehow left on the sideline. There are certainly bits of advice floating around which despite being trivial are not wrong but not much helpful either. With that in mind, it seemed necessary to provide new Dads with a few life lessons detailing three things that every Dad should be aware of.
There are essentially three things that all great Dads use when raising their children; they are also the measuring stick that all other advice and activities should be held to. Following these three tips will ensure a strong foundation for a successful and happy relationship between dad and kids.
Trust your intuition. Regardless if it's your third or first time being a dad you have a formed idea of how you want or don't want to care for and raise your child. Advices will be aplenty - from family members, friends, neighbors, colleagues and everybody who has a baby or just finished reading a book on raising a baby. Nothing bad with all that but when it comes down to it, you, the new Dad, have to make your own choices and they will be based on what you feel is right for your child. You will be able to draw from memories of your own childhood and decide what works and what doesn't, what you want to keep and what you want to stay away from. As a new Dad, try to remember that there is not a single manual, book or person whose parenting advice will provide you with the one and only right way of raising your child. Consider the offered knowledge and experience but base your parenting upon the instinct welling up inside you. As Michael Burke says "Good instincts usually tell you what to do long before your head has figured it out."
Make playtime dad's time. Moms and Dads are different and so is what they bring to the playing time of their children. To describe the difference in Mom's and Dad's playing patterns, consider that Moms like to play face to face with their child, usually keeping the baby very close. On the other hand Dads tend to carry their babies in the 'look at the world' manner, facing out and exploring it together. You, as a Dad, bring an outward adventure and a different look and feel to life. Remember that play time is discovery time and that your baby will learn through interacting with you and through 'touch and see' of different objects. Besides being fun, when you play with your babies you help them with their burgeoning motor skills, development of their brain and language, to name just a few of those early developmental steps. Also, you are creating a habit which will naturally be carried over the years.
Give yourself 'Me Time'. Allow yourself a breather and don't feel guilty about it. Time for yourself is not running away from your baby but rather replenishing your batteries which babies have a tendency to drain very fast. Be consistent with this weekly pressure release practice; sorry to bring up Mom again but remember that she needs it too. 'Me Time' will lessen stress, worries and concerns about family, money or work and will give you a new found endurance to deal with all of them. Best of all, you'll be eager to submerge in your baby's world again and continue working on this truly special bond of love that rivals no other feeling.
These three know-hows don't call for anything extraordinary or heroic and you do not have to go out of your way to practice them. Embrace them and your ride in the Fatherhood Land will be enjoyable, fun and so rewarding.
Valentina Kaltchev is the founder of TheQuiltFairy.com, an online boutique for handmade [http://www.thequiltfairy.com/baby-quilts]baby quilts, [http://www.thequiltfairy.com/baby-crib-bedding]baby crib bedding and custom accessories for creating designer's look and relaxing atmosphere in your baby's nursery.
Article Source: [http://EzineArticles.com/?Three-Must-Knows-For-New-Dads&id=6394189] Three Must-Knows For New Dads
There has been much written for the Expecting-Moms and for New Moms, but the Dads or Soon-To-Be Dads are somehow left on the sideline. There are certainly bits of advice floating around which despite being trivial are not wrong but not much helpful either. With that in mind, it seemed necessary to provide new Dads with a few life lessons detailing three things that every Dad should be aware of.
There are essentially three things that all great Dads use when raising their children; they are also the measuring stick that all other advice and activities should be held to. Following these three tips will ensure a strong foundation for a successful and happy relationship between dad and kids.
Trust your intuition. Regardless if it's your third or first time being a dad you have a formed idea of how you want or don't want to care for and raise your child. Advices will be aplenty - from family members, friends, neighbors, colleagues and everybody who has a baby or just finished reading a book on raising a baby. Nothing bad with all that but when it comes down to it, you, the new Dad, have to make your own choices and they will be based on what you feel is right for your child. You will be able to draw from memories of your own childhood and decide what works and what doesn't, what you want to keep and what you want to stay away from. As a new Dad, try to remember that there is not a single manual, book or person whose parenting advice will provide you with the one and only right way of raising your child. Consider the offered knowledge and experience but base your parenting upon the instinct welling up inside you. As Michael Burke says "Good instincts usually tell you what to do long before your head has figured it out."
Make playtime dad's time. Moms and Dads are different and so is what they bring to the playing time of their children. To describe the difference in Mom's and Dad's playing patterns, consider that Moms like to play face to face with their child, usually keeping the baby very close. On the other hand Dads tend to carry their babies in the 'look at the world' manner, facing out and exploring it together. You, as a Dad, bring an outward adventure and a different look and feel to life. Remember that play time is discovery time and that your baby will learn through interacting with you and through 'touch and see' of different objects. Besides being fun, when you play with your babies you help them with their burgeoning motor skills, development of their brain and language, to name just a few of those early developmental steps. Also, you are creating a habit which will naturally be carried over the years.
Give yourself 'Me Time'. Allow yourself a breather and don't feel guilty about it. Time for yourself is not running away from your baby but rather replenishing your batteries which babies have a tendency to drain very fast. Be consistent with this weekly pressure release practice; sorry to bring up Mom again but remember that she needs it too. 'Me Time' will lessen stress, worries and concerns about family, money or work and will give you a new found endurance to deal with all of them. Best of all, you'll be eager to submerge in your baby's world again and continue working on this truly special bond of love that rivals no other feeling.
These three know-hows don't call for anything extraordinary or heroic and you do not have to go out of your way to practice them. Embrace them and your ride in the Fatherhood Land will be enjoyable, fun and so rewarding.
Valentina Kaltchev is the founder of TheQuiltFairy.com, an online boutique for handmade [http://www.thequiltfairy.com/baby-quilts]baby quilts, [http://www.thequiltfairy.com/baby-crib-bedding]baby crib bedding and custom accessories for creating designer's look and relaxing atmosphere in your baby's nursery.
Article Source: [http://EzineArticles.com/?Three-Must-Knows-For-New-Dads&id=6394189] Three Must-Knows For New Dads
Monday, December 12, 2011
Divorced Fathers and the Influence of Their Relationship With Children
By [http://ezinearticles.com/?expert=Andrew_Marshall]Andrew Marshall
When parent's divorce, the relationship each parent has with their children can have a significant influence on their lives. This article looks at the importance and influence of a child's relationship with his/her Father if he no longer lives in the family home.
In the UK around 9 in 10 single resident parents are female, meaning after divorce many children do not have daily contact with their Father. There is evidence to suggest that around a quarter of children never see a parent they don't live with.
Just because a Father does not live with his children does not mean the relationship is not an important one. It is generally see as important that boys have a positive role model to look up to; a role that should be taken on by his Father. Whether or not this influence exists, as well as the nature of this influence, it can have an impact on a child's behaviour as an adult.
There are potential negative impacts on a boy if his Father is not around, especially if there is no positive male influence in his life. As he doesn't have a male role model he may not understand how he should behave. If in a female dominated household (possible with his Mother and Sisters) he may feel like he doesn't have anyone to talk to about certain issues; that there is no-one who can understand his feelings. This can cause behavioural and other problems. It has been suggested that having no Father around can increase the chances of depression.
The issues for boys not having a Father figure may be more obvious, but it can also be important for girls. It can impact their relationships with men in the future. Not being in regular contact with a man means that a girl may not have the same understanding of female-male relationships as they might otherwise have.
Some studies have shown that the behaviour of boys is worse where there is no relationship with a Father. They are more likely to behave worse at school, more likely to turn to alcohol and drugs and more likely to commit a criminal offence. Of course, this doesn't mean any child whose Father is not around will have these problems, but they are more common amongst Fatherless children than for children whose Father's are in regular contact with them.
It is not just whether a Father is around that is important but the quality of the relationship and the specific influence he has. How much time they spend together is important; whether they have weekly contact or only see each other once in a blue moon. Children need someone to talk to about their problems so it is important that a Father is someone they can talk to, especially as there are issues that may require a male point of view.
If a Fathers influence is negative, on the other hand, then a relationship between Father and child is not necessarily a good thing. For example with a Son, negative behaviour from a Father may give them an idea of how to behave, but not the right way to behave. It may make certain unacceptable behaviour seem acceptable.
Children tend to want both of their parents involved in their lives. Some studies have reported that most children with separated parents think that the main negative influence of the breakup of their parents' relationship is losing or having less contact with their Father. The vast majority want contact with their Father, this goes for both those who currently do have contact and those who do not.
How do step-Fathers come into this? Perhaps not surprisingly, evidence shows that relationships between step-Fathers and children are less close than between biological Fathers and their children. However in many cases it can grow into a positive relationship, they can become a positive role model. As with a biological Father, a relationship between a step-Father and children can influence their behaviour both negatively and positively.
Andrew Marshall (c)
Bross Bennett are [http://www.brossbennett.co.uk/]Divorce Solicitors London.
Steel and Shamash are [http://www.steelandshamash.co.uk/]Family Law Solicitors.
Article Source: [http://EzineArticles.com/?Divorced-Fathers-and-the-Influence-of-Their-Relationship-With-Children&id=6407279] Divorced Fathers and the Influence of Their Relationship With Children
When parent's divorce, the relationship each parent has with their children can have a significant influence on their lives. This article looks at the importance and influence of a child's relationship with his/her Father if he no longer lives in the family home.
In the UK around 9 in 10 single resident parents are female, meaning after divorce many children do not have daily contact with their Father. There is evidence to suggest that around a quarter of children never see a parent they don't live with.
Just because a Father does not live with his children does not mean the relationship is not an important one. It is generally see as important that boys have a positive role model to look up to; a role that should be taken on by his Father. Whether or not this influence exists, as well as the nature of this influence, it can have an impact on a child's behaviour as an adult.
There are potential negative impacts on a boy if his Father is not around, especially if there is no positive male influence in his life. As he doesn't have a male role model he may not understand how he should behave. If in a female dominated household (possible with his Mother and Sisters) he may feel like he doesn't have anyone to talk to about certain issues; that there is no-one who can understand his feelings. This can cause behavioural and other problems. It has been suggested that having no Father around can increase the chances of depression.
The issues for boys not having a Father figure may be more obvious, but it can also be important for girls. It can impact their relationships with men in the future. Not being in regular contact with a man means that a girl may not have the same understanding of female-male relationships as they might otherwise have.
Some studies have shown that the behaviour of boys is worse where there is no relationship with a Father. They are more likely to behave worse at school, more likely to turn to alcohol and drugs and more likely to commit a criminal offence. Of course, this doesn't mean any child whose Father is not around will have these problems, but they are more common amongst Fatherless children than for children whose Father's are in regular contact with them.
It is not just whether a Father is around that is important but the quality of the relationship and the specific influence he has. How much time they spend together is important; whether they have weekly contact or only see each other once in a blue moon. Children need someone to talk to about their problems so it is important that a Father is someone they can talk to, especially as there are issues that may require a male point of view.
If a Fathers influence is negative, on the other hand, then a relationship between Father and child is not necessarily a good thing. For example with a Son, negative behaviour from a Father may give them an idea of how to behave, but not the right way to behave. It may make certain unacceptable behaviour seem acceptable.
Children tend to want both of their parents involved in their lives. Some studies have reported that most children with separated parents think that the main negative influence of the breakup of their parents' relationship is losing or having less contact with their Father. The vast majority want contact with their Father, this goes for both those who currently do have contact and those who do not.
How do step-Fathers come into this? Perhaps not surprisingly, evidence shows that relationships between step-Fathers and children are less close than between biological Fathers and their children. However in many cases it can grow into a positive relationship, they can become a positive role model. As with a biological Father, a relationship between a step-Father and children can influence their behaviour both negatively and positively.
Andrew Marshall (c)
Bross Bennett are [http://www.brossbennett.co.uk/]Divorce Solicitors London.
Steel and Shamash are [http://www.steelandshamash.co.uk/]Family Law Solicitors.
Article Source: [http://EzineArticles.com/?Divorced-Fathers-and-the-Influence-of-Their-Relationship-With-Children&id=6407279] Divorced Fathers and the Influence of Their Relationship With Children
Saturday, December 10, 2011
Vasectomy Reversal Doctors: Their Influence to Fatherhood
By [http://ezinearticles.com/?expert=Seomul_Evans]Seomul Evans
Speaking in a scientific term, vasectomy reversal doctors are trained medical professionals who perform surgery to undo vasectomy.
How Do They Do It
Prior to the operation, doctors provide patients with detailed and thorough medical explanation about the surgery including the risks and possible complications.
Depending on the technique used to operate, the doctor penetrates inside the scrotum, locates the vas deferens, and reconnects both ends. On a more complicated case, vas deferens is connected to the epididymis.
After the operation, the doctor monitors the progress of the operation and will request for timely semen analysis. Continuous monitor is ideal until successful pregnancy is achieved. Otherwise your vasectomy reversal doctor may refer you to an infertility specialist.
Influence to Fatherhood
Having a vasectomy can be a very complicated issue not just to the couple, but to the family as a whole. In a change of mind, men consider a vasectomy reversal to regain fertility. Reasons for reversing vasectomy vary from one person to another. The decision can be due to divorce, remarriage, death of a spouse, loss of a child, desire to expand the family, financial stability, or medical reasons in very rare case. Regardless of the reason, when men are firmly decided to undergo vasectomy reversal, doctors play their part.
Doctors play an important role in the society. The divorce rate worldwide is certainly uprising. Even without looking at the statistics, reports from different media outlets will attest truth to this. In this matter, divorce after vasectomy is much painful and agonizing to men especially when reversing vasectomy is impossible.
From a bird's eye point of view, vasectomy reversal doctors are great influences in building a family. Not only will they undo sterility, these doctors also give positive hope to men who will embark on a new chapter of their lives. Imagine the medical arena without them existing on the field. Based on the US statistics, an average of 500,000 men undergoes vasectomy per year. Five percent of these men are likely to consider vasectomy reversal. Based on this number, roughly about 25,000 men are given hope to father a child again.
When you look at the bigger picture, doctors are considered heroes by these men. Although there are alternatives to father a child again after a vasectomy, it is still a better option. The procedure is less expensive and potentially more effective than other alternatives.
The Real Deal: Regaining Fatherhood
Reversing vasectomy means to father a child again. Consequently, fathering a child again means starting life anew. The importance of a father's role is often underestimated. Unfortunately, sometimes even fathers do not act responsibly and failed to play the role of a real father.
While embarking on a new life after reversing vasectomy, men are just so excited to produce offspring again. They now understand fatherhood much better than prior to vasectomy. Perhaps time and circumstances made them realized the importance of responsible parenthood. Without doctors to undo vasectomy, these men will not be given another chance to establish a new family of their own. In the real sense, doctors are heroes and great influences to the society. Fatherhood is not a right, but a privilege.
Seomul Evans is a [http://www.seo-1-marketing-services.com/]SEO consultant for [http://www.vasectomyreversal.com/]Vasectomy Reversal
Article Source: [http://EzineArticles.com/?Vasectomy-Reversal-Doctors:-Their-Influence-to-Fatherhood&id=6405296] Vasectomy Reversal Doctors: Their Influence to Fatherhood
Speaking in a scientific term, vasectomy reversal doctors are trained medical professionals who perform surgery to undo vasectomy.
How Do They Do It
Prior to the operation, doctors provide patients with detailed and thorough medical explanation about the surgery including the risks and possible complications.
Depending on the technique used to operate, the doctor penetrates inside the scrotum, locates the vas deferens, and reconnects both ends. On a more complicated case, vas deferens is connected to the epididymis.
After the operation, the doctor monitors the progress of the operation and will request for timely semen analysis. Continuous monitor is ideal until successful pregnancy is achieved. Otherwise your vasectomy reversal doctor may refer you to an infertility specialist.
Influence to Fatherhood
Having a vasectomy can be a very complicated issue not just to the couple, but to the family as a whole. In a change of mind, men consider a vasectomy reversal to regain fertility. Reasons for reversing vasectomy vary from one person to another. The decision can be due to divorce, remarriage, death of a spouse, loss of a child, desire to expand the family, financial stability, or medical reasons in very rare case. Regardless of the reason, when men are firmly decided to undergo vasectomy reversal, doctors play their part.
Doctors play an important role in the society. The divorce rate worldwide is certainly uprising. Even without looking at the statistics, reports from different media outlets will attest truth to this. In this matter, divorce after vasectomy is much painful and agonizing to men especially when reversing vasectomy is impossible.
From a bird's eye point of view, vasectomy reversal doctors are great influences in building a family. Not only will they undo sterility, these doctors also give positive hope to men who will embark on a new chapter of their lives. Imagine the medical arena without them existing on the field. Based on the US statistics, an average of 500,000 men undergoes vasectomy per year. Five percent of these men are likely to consider vasectomy reversal. Based on this number, roughly about 25,000 men are given hope to father a child again.
When you look at the bigger picture, doctors are considered heroes by these men. Although there are alternatives to father a child again after a vasectomy, it is still a better option. The procedure is less expensive and potentially more effective than other alternatives.
The Real Deal: Regaining Fatherhood
Reversing vasectomy means to father a child again. Consequently, fathering a child again means starting life anew. The importance of a father's role is often underestimated. Unfortunately, sometimes even fathers do not act responsibly and failed to play the role of a real father.
While embarking on a new life after reversing vasectomy, men are just so excited to produce offspring again. They now understand fatherhood much better than prior to vasectomy. Perhaps time and circumstances made them realized the importance of responsible parenthood. Without doctors to undo vasectomy, these men will not be given another chance to establish a new family of their own. In the real sense, doctors are heroes and great influences to the society. Fatherhood is not a right, but a privilege.
Seomul Evans is a [http://www.seo-1-marketing-services.com/]SEO consultant for [http://www.vasectomyreversal.com/]Vasectomy Reversal
Article Source: [http://EzineArticles.com/?Vasectomy-Reversal-Doctors:-Their-Influence-to-Fatherhood&id=6405296] Vasectomy Reversal Doctors: Their Influence to Fatherhood
Thursday, December 8, 2011
3 Big Mistakes I Made As A New Father
By [http://ezinearticles.com/?expert=William_Jason]William Jason
When I first found out my wife was pregnant and we were expecting our first child, I promised myself that I would do everything I could to take on my share of responsibility for raising our baby. I literally went out to the bookstore that day and bought several books on raising a baby, and I read them from cover to cover throughout my wife's pregnancy. I literally read close to 1000 pages on the development of babies and just about every review I could get my hands on for baby products. I thought I had all of my bases covered, but even with all of the information I read, I still made a plethora of mistakes.
One of the biggest mistakes I made and one that really shakes me up every time I think about, is the fact that I did not have my baby's car seat installed properly for close to three months. When a friend pointed out how loose it was and that I did not install it properly, I got a huge wake-up call. Ever since that day, I always take any car seat that needs to be installed to a car see inspection station, and I strongly urge you to do the same. You can find the locations of these inspection stations in your area, by doing a simple search online.
Another big mistake I made was that on several occasions I forgot to check to make sure my baby was actually strapped into her car seat. What good is having your car seat installed properly, if you forget to strap your baby in? Sometimes when my wife and I were in a hurry, I would assume that she had strapped our daughter into the car seat and vice versa. Since we had a cover on the car seat, you could not easily see if she was strapped in or not. On a few occasions when we got to our destination, we would be horrified to find out that she was not in fact buckled in. After the second or third time it happened, we both made it a point to always check to make sure she was strapped in, before the car was started.
Finally, another costly mistake I made was to buy too much baby clothing when my baby was first born. I didn't realize how quickly my daughter was going to grow out of her clothing, and she only ended up wearing about a quarter of the outfits I bought for her. I could have literally saved hundreds of dollars, by only buying clothing for her as needed.
While you are bound to make plenty of mistakes as a new parent, hopefully by reading this article, you will be able to avoid the mistakes I listed above, and not have to learn the hard way like I did.
William Jason is a writer and blog publisher who focuses mainly on parenting issues. His blog now has a new section with his favorite handpicked [http://babydollstroller.net/natural-childbirth-video/]natural childbirth video and articles.
Article Source: [http://EzineArticles.com/?3-Big-Mistakes-I-Made-As-A-New-Father&id=6425443] 3 Big Mistakes I Made As A New Father
When I first found out my wife was pregnant and we were expecting our first child, I promised myself that I would do everything I could to take on my share of responsibility for raising our baby. I literally went out to the bookstore that day and bought several books on raising a baby, and I read them from cover to cover throughout my wife's pregnancy. I literally read close to 1000 pages on the development of babies and just about every review I could get my hands on for baby products. I thought I had all of my bases covered, but even with all of the information I read, I still made a plethora of mistakes.
One of the biggest mistakes I made and one that really shakes me up every time I think about, is the fact that I did not have my baby's car seat installed properly for close to three months. When a friend pointed out how loose it was and that I did not install it properly, I got a huge wake-up call. Ever since that day, I always take any car seat that needs to be installed to a car see inspection station, and I strongly urge you to do the same. You can find the locations of these inspection stations in your area, by doing a simple search online.
Another big mistake I made was that on several occasions I forgot to check to make sure my baby was actually strapped into her car seat. What good is having your car seat installed properly, if you forget to strap your baby in? Sometimes when my wife and I were in a hurry, I would assume that she had strapped our daughter into the car seat and vice versa. Since we had a cover on the car seat, you could not easily see if she was strapped in or not. On a few occasions when we got to our destination, we would be horrified to find out that she was not in fact buckled in. After the second or third time it happened, we both made it a point to always check to make sure she was strapped in, before the car was started.
Finally, another costly mistake I made was to buy too much baby clothing when my baby was first born. I didn't realize how quickly my daughter was going to grow out of her clothing, and she only ended up wearing about a quarter of the outfits I bought for her. I could have literally saved hundreds of dollars, by only buying clothing for her as needed.
While you are bound to make plenty of mistakes as a new parent, hopefully by reading this article, you will be able to avoid the mistakes I listed above, and not have to learn the hard way like I did.
William Jason is a writer and blog publisher who focuses mainly on parenting issues. His blog now has a new section with his favorite handpicked [http://babydollstroller.net/natural-childbirth-video/]natural childbirth video and articles.
Article Source: [http://EzineArticles.com/?3-Big-Mistakes-I-Made-As-A-New-Father&id=6425443] 3 Big Mistakes I Made As A New Father
Tuesday, December 6, 2011
There Are Many Great Fathers - Are You One?
By [http://ezinearticles.com/?expert=Steve_W_Litt]Steve W Litt
Sitting in a library waiting for a meeting to start, I saw a book on "Incest Survivors". I was early for the meeting, so I picked it up and started with the introduction.
The author began her story something like this: "It was late and the house was dark. I was in bed pretending to be asleep when my father opened the door and quietly moved toward my bed. He bent over me while I continued to pretend to sleep. He inched closer and kissed me on the forehead, tucked in my blanket and tiptoed out of the room. You see, I grew up knowing what good touch was from a man I could trust and love without fear. Many children did not have that experience."
I was expecting another incest story, but instead was reminded that there are wonderful fathers out there. Men that make the world safe for their children are all around us. I watch men in my practice turn their lives around. I witness miracles every day. One of the happiest moments for many of them is when they recognize that they have become the dad they wanted to be. Here's how.
First a great Father shows up! He takes every opportunity to be there for his children and their mother. He is involved in their lives on a daily basis. He changes diapers, bathes babies, teaches his children the difference between right and wrong by his example and his words. He tickles, laughs and reads to or with his children.
The great fathers listen to their kids and try to understand who they are. They ignore little mistakes, but give great attention to successes. They guide by offering direction and correction in a loving way. By doing these things they teach their sons how to be men and fathers and teach daughters what to look for in men.
The greatest gift a father can give his children is to treat their mother well, even if the couple is divorced or apart. This offers children a role model and a sense of security and well being. Children are grateful when their parents have a relationship that works well and is stable, loving and fun.
If, as a father, you have not done as well as you wanted, there is always time to improve.
Start today!
No matter what your life is, you will find it enhanced by trying to be the next father of the year. I have witnessed many men finding their way to greatness. They were not the best fathers until they started working on it in a concerted way.
You can do this! You can be a great Dad. Maybe you already are.
Real Men are there for their kids!
Steve Litt has been providing psychotherapy for over 40 years. Steve was named Therapist of the Year by the Colorado branch of the American Association for Marriage and Family Therapy (AAMFT) for 2010. Steve provides original content at [http://blog.smarterrelationships.com/]SMARTERrelationships.com. You can follow him on Twitter at [http://www.twitter.com/stevelittadvice]@SteveLittAdvice.
Steve W Litt, LCSW
Article Source: [http://EzineArticles.com/?There-Are-Many-Great-Fathers---Are-You-One?&id=6425166] There Are Many Great Fathers - Are You One?
Sitting in a library waiting for a meeting to start, I saw a book on "Incest Survivors". I was early for the meeting, so I picked it up and started with the introduction.
The author began her story something like this: "It was late and the house was dark. I was in bed pretending to be asleep when my father opened the door and quietly moved toward my bed. He bent over me while I continued to pretend to sleep. He inched closer and kissed me on the forehead, tucked in my blanket and tiptoed out of the room. You see, I grew up knowing what good touch was from a man I could trust and love without fear. Many children did not have that experience."
I was expecting another incest story, but instead was reminded that there are wonderful fathers out there. Men that make the world safe for their children are all around us. I watch men in my practice turn their lives around. I witness miracles every day. One of the happiest moments for many of them is when they recognize that they have become the dad they wanted to be. Here's how.
First a great Father shows up! He takes every opportunity to be there for his children and their mother. He is involved in their lives on a daily basis. He changes diapers, bathes babies, teaches his children the difference between right and wrong by his example and his words. He tickles, laughs and reads to or with his children.
The great fathers listen to their kids and try to understand who they are. They ignore little mistakes, but give great attention to successes. They guide by offering direction and correction in a loving way. By doing these things they teach their sons how to be men and fathers and teach daughters what to look for in men.
The greatest gift a father can give his children is to treat their mother well, even if the couple is divorced or apart. This offers children a role model and a sense of security and well being. Children are grateful when their parents have a relationship that works well and is stable, loving and fun.
If, as a father, you have not done as well as you wanted, there is always time to improve.
Start today!
No matter what your life is, you will find it enhanced by trying to be the next father of the year. I have witnessed many men finding their way to greatness. They were not the best fathers until they started working on it in a concerted way.
You can do this! You can be a great Dad. Maybe you already are.
Real Men are there for their kids!
Steve Litt has been providing psychotherapy for over 40 years. Steve was named Therapist of the Year by the Colorado branch of the American Association for Marriage and Family Therapy (AAMFT) for 2010. Steve provides original content at [http://blog.smarterrelationships.com/]SMARTERrelationships.com. You can follow him on Twitter at [http://www.twitter.com/stevelittadvice]@SteveLittAdvice.
Steve W Litt, LCSW
Article Source: [http://EzineArticles.com/?There-Are-Many-Great-Fathers---Are-You-One?&id=6425166] There Are Many Great Fathers - Are You One?
Sunday, December 4, 2011
Get Dad Birthday Gifts That Are Useful and Funny
By [http://ezinearticles.com/?expert=Ruth_Dsouza_Prabhu]Ruth Dsouza Prabhu
Birthdays can be real fun no matter who the person and how old they are. So get your dad birthday gifts that are unusual like playing a prank or two to make his special day memorable. If you have a dad who is a sport and will take a few funny antics in stride, then here are some things you can try out.
Birthday cakes are a must, but how about an inedible one? Make the cake as you would a normal recipe, but switch a few ingredients; instead of water, mix in tonic water, substitute sugar with salt. Grab a hold of a few other spices and condiments and dump them all in. Bake this cake up and if it comes out with any odors, just mask it with a bit of frosting and keep an actual cake handy for when the guffaws are over.
A great prank on dad would be to take his toothpaste and squeeze everything out of it. Use a syringe or mom's icing bag and fill the tube with frosting. Replace the cap and place it just where dad always does. He will not suspect a thing till he realizes his toothpaste tastes distinctly like softened sugar.
Make an unusual birthday treat. Take a fairly round shaped potato and coat it completely with molten chocolate. Roll this around in a generous helping of sprinkles and stick in a Popsicle stick. After a stint in the fridge, offer this to dad as a specially made sweet treat and just wait to see if he sportingly eats it so as not to let you down.
A particularly good trick is to reset all the clocks in the house to two hours earlier on the eve of dad's birthday. Make sure to do this when he is asleep. He will wake up the next day, a bit disoriented from being two hours early and will get all flustered when no one seems to be calling up to wish him. Cut the joke out the minute you see him starting to get really disappointed.
Save papers from a couple of months earlier and make sure they look exactly how the daily newspaper looks. This works really well for those people who can't do without the morning news. Make sure you replace the day's paper with the old one and try to hold on to those snickers when dad looks all confused while reading. Give him his actual paper after you have enjoyed his hassled looks.
Conspire with the young and old in the neighborhood. Have them walk up to him during the course of the day, wish him and then promise to be there at the evening party he is hosting. Make sure that they name one of the most expensive, upscale restaurants in town. His look of bewilderment will be priceless.
Once you are done with the pranks, you will want some great gifts to make it up to dad. Try a personalized engraved whiskey glass. This is especially good for those who love their night cap. Having a personal message carved out on it will make it all the more appreciated.
A gift for someone with a great sense of humor and a passion for golf would be the Toilet Golf set. This combines tee time with bathroom breaks and ensures that there is never a minute that is wasted. The set comes with a putting green, golf balls, a putter and the best part - a 'Do not disturb' sign.
A Marquetry wall hanging with a bass and dragonfly image would do great for a lover of fishing. This is one image that will constantly remind him of a great catch. Marquetry uses tiny bits of veneer in varied shapes and textures to fill in a number of great looking images.
And if you want your dad to be able to show off to guests at the dinner table, get him the Magic Floating Wine Bottle holder. The chain is manufactured such that it gives of the image of a bottle suspended in air. Of course it will hold only one bottle at a time.
Your dad has always ensured that you have a memorable birthday each year. It is only befitting that you do the same for him.
This article on getting your [http://www.marqartgiftshop.com/Gifts-for-Dad_c_57.html]dad birthday gifts that are quirky and unusual was written by Ruth D'Souza Prabhu of MarqART Gift Shop.
Our wood designs are original works of art, no two creations are the same. Each wood shown has its own unique wood grain pattern and color. MarqART comes from combining the words marquetry (wood inlay) + Art (a creation of beauty) an apt name for our products. A fine addition to your dressing table or as a gift.
For more [http://www.marqartgiftshop.com/Unique-Gifts_c_52.html]unique gifts, please visit marqartgiftshop.com.
Article Source: [http://EzineArticles.com/?Get-Dad-Birthday-Gifts-That-Are-Useful-and-Funny&id=6437955] Get Dad Birthday Gifts That Are Useful and Funny
Birthdays can be real fun no matter who the person and how old they are. So get your dad birthday gifts that are unusual like playing a prank or two to make his special day memorable. If you have a dad who is a sport and will take a few funny antics in stride, then here are some things you can try out.
Birthday cakes are a must, but how about an inedible one? Make the cake as you would a normal recipe, but switch a few ingredients; instead of water, mix in tonic water, substitute sugar with salt. Grab a hold of a few other spices and condiments and dump them all in. Bake this cake up and if it comes out with any odors, just mask it with a bit of frosting and keep an actual cake handy for when the guffaws are over.
A great prank on dad would be to take his toothpaste and squeeze everything out of it. Use a syringe or mom's icing bag and fill the tube with frosting. Replace the cap and place it just where dad always does. He will not suspect a thing till he realizes his toothpaste tastes distinctly like softened sugar.
Make an unusual birthday treat. Take a fairly round shaped potato and coat it completely with molten chocolate. Roll this around in a generous helping of sprinkles and stick in a Popsicle stick. After a stint in the fridge, offer this to dad as a specially made sweet treat and just wait to see if he sportingly eats it so as not to let you down.
A particularly good trick is to reset all the clocks in the house to two hours earlier on the eve of dad's birthday. Make sure to do this when he is asleep. He will wake up the next day, a bit disoriented from being two hours early and will get all flustered when no one seems to be calling up to wish him. Cut the joke out the minute you see him starting to get really disappointed.
Save papers from a couple of months earlier and make sure they look exactly how the daily newspaper looks. This works really well for those people who can't do without the morning news. Make sure you replace the day's paper with the old one and try to hold on to those snickers when dad looks all confused while reading. Give him his actual paper after you have enjoyed his hassled looks.
Conspire with the young and old in the neighborhood. Have them walk up to him during the course of the day, wish him and then promise to be there at the evening party he is hosting. Make sure that they name one of the most expensive, upscale restaurants in town. His look of bewilderment will be priceless.
Once you are done with the pranks, you will want some great gifts to make it up to dad. Try a personalized engraved whiskey glass. This is especially good for those who love their night cap. Having a personal message carved out on it will make it all the more appreciated.
A gift for someone with a great sense of humor and a passion for golf would be the Toilet Golf set. This combines tee time with bathroom breaks and ensures that there is never a minute that is wasted. The set comes with a putting green, golf balls, a putter and the best part - a 'Do not disturb' sign.
A Marquetry wall hanging with a bass and dragonfly image would do great for a lover of fishing. This is one image that will constantly remind him of a great catch. Marquetry uses tiny bits of veneer in varied shapes and textures to fill in a number of great looking images.
And if you want your dad to be able to show off to guests at the dinner table, get him the Magic Floating Wine Bottle holder. The chain is manufactured such that it gives of the image of a bottle suspended in air. Of course it will hold only one bottle at a time.
Your dad has always ensured that you have a memorable birthday each year. It is only befitting that you do the same for him.
This article on getting your [http://www.marqartgiftshop.com/Gifts-for-Dad_c_57.html]dad birthday gifts that are quirky and unusual was written by Ruth D'Souza Prabhu of MarqART Gift Shop.
Our wood designs are original works of art, no two creations are the same. Each wood shown has its own unique wood grain pattern and color. MarqART comes from combining the words marquetry (wood inlay) + Art (a creation of beauty) an apt name for our products. A fine addition to your dressing table or as a gift.
For more [http://www.marqartgiftshop.com/Unique-Gifts_c_52.html]unique gifts, please visit marqartgiftshop.com.
Article Source: [http://EzineArticles.com/?Get-Dad-Birthday-Gifts-That-Are-Useful-and-Funny&id=6437955] Get Dad Birthday Gifts That Are Useful and Funny
Friday, December 2, 2011
Being A Good Father Is A Choice
By [http://ezinearticles.com/?expert=Mike_O_Thompson]Mike O Thompson
As we grow up in life we are faced with many choices that we must make on a day-to-day basis. If you have fathered a child, being a good father is one of those choices.
Arnold J. Toynbee was quoted as saying; "As human beings, we are endowed with freedom of choice, and we cannot shuffle off our responsibility upon the shoulders of God or nature. We must shoulder it ourselves. It is our responsibility."
Maybe becoming a father wasn't what you had planned at that point in your life, if ever. Maybe it was like what Bill Cosby said: "I guess the real reason that my wife and I had children is the same reason that Napoleon had for invading Russia: it seemed like a good idea at the time." Nevertheless, it happened!
So I must ask you: what makes you think that you have the right to bring a child into this world and just leave him/her out for someone else to raise, teach, mentor, nurture, and all the other things only a father can do?
As a father, you are the role model to the kind of man your daughter is going to look for when picking her husband.
As a father, you are the role model your son will likely emulate as he grows up.
No matter the circumstances of how you became a father, or what you think and or feel about the mom, once you have brought a child into the world, whether you and the mom are together or not, it is your responsibility to be a good parent to that child.
A child's memory of their dad should not be centered around what someone else has said about them. Wouldn't it be better for them to have first-hand knowledge of the type of man you are? Memories of you that no one can erase?
Even thought my dad died when I was 11 years old and was away a lot fighting in the Korean and Vietnam War, I still have some of my greatest memories of him. When he was home, Friday nights he would stay up with my sister and I and watch movies. We would wake up the next morning and watch cartoons together. He would take us on trips, sightseeing, carnivals, and sometimes just simply hang out with us. These are memories that will stay with me for the rest of my life. These memories are a part of his legacy he left behind.
Mothers, unless you made this child all by yourself, what makes you think you have the right to keep the child away from a man that has done nothing that would bring any harm to the child?
Most mothers will even admit that children react differently when a man speaks then when she does. Men have that authoritative type voice. When a man tells a child to do something or not to do something, the reaction from a child is different. Even if you are a strong woman like my mom was it was still different when my dad told me to do something compared to my mom.
Moms and Dads: what kind of memories are you planting in your child's head? Dads: what kind of legacy are you leaving for your child? What do you want your child to say about you? Mothers: if you really love your child, do you really think it is right that they grow up without a father in their lives or memories of a man that you have painted a negative picture of?
In case you have not seen statistics on the affect on a fatherless child, here are just a few of them:
63% of youth suicides are from fatherless homes. (U.S. D.H.H.S - Bureau of Census)
71% of high school dropouts come from fatherless homes. (National Principles Association Report on the state of high schools)
90% of all homeless and runaway children are from fatherless homes.
So you can see that no matter what anyone has led you to believe, the presence of a father in a child's life does matter! We hear all the time about how important a mother is in a child's life, and they are, but so are fathers!
Ask yourself, what kind of life long memories are you helping them to form? Keep in count that negative thoughts often bring on negative reactions and behaviors.
Both parents needs to always remember and think about just how much impact you have on your children.
Wouldn't you want to be in her life as a good father so she can see what a good father looks like? Or is it okay with you that she grows up to marry a man that treats her like she is less of a human being, his footstool, his maid, belittling her, hitting her, and so on. You know the type.
Being a father myself, I must agree with Bill Cosby when he said, "Nothing I've ever done has given me more joys and rewards than being a father to my children."
I also must agree with Wilhelm Busch when he said, "Becoming a father is easy enough, but being one can be very rough."
No one ever said it would be easy. Being a good father IS a choice. What kind of father are you choosing to be?
Have you taken the easy road out or are you being there for you child?
In closing, Lois McMaster Bujold sums it up nicely when he said, "I am who I choose to be. I always have been what I chose - though not always what I pleased."
Mike Thompson
The Father's Show Resource Program
Article Source: [http://EzineArticles.com/?Being-A-Good-Father-Is-A-Choice&id=6435471] Being A Good Father Is A Choice
As we grow up in life we are faced with many choices that we must make on a day-to-day basis. If you have fathered a child, being a good father is one of those choices.
Arnold J. Toynbee was quoted as saying; "As human beings, we are endowed with freedom of choice, and we cannot shuffle off our responsibility upon the shoulders of God or nature. We must shoulder it ourselves. It is our responsibility."
Maybe becoming a father wasn't what you had planned at that point in your life, if ever. Maybe it was like what Bill Cosby said: "I guess the real reason that my wife and I had children is the same reason that Napoleon had for invading Russia: it seemed like a good idea at the time." Nevertheless, it happened!
So I must ask you: what makes you think that you have the right to bring a child into this world and just leave him/her out for someone else to raise, teach, mentor, nurture, and all the other things only a father can do?
As a father, you are the role model to the kind of man your daughter is going to look for when picking her husband.
As a father, you are the role model your son will likely emulate as he grows up.
No matter the circumstances of how you became a father, or what you think and or feel about the mom, once you have brought a child into the world, whether you and the mom are together or not, it is your responsibility to be a good parent to that child.
A child's memory of their dad should not be centered around what someone else has said about them. Wouldn't it be better for them to have first-hand knowledge of the type of man you are? Memories of you that no one can erase?
Even thought my dad died when I was 11 years old and was away a lot fighting in the Korean and Vietnam War, I still have some of my greatest memories of him. When he was home, Friday nights he would stay up with my sister and I and watch movies. We would wake up the next morning and watch cartoons together. He would take us on trips, sightseeing, carnivals, and sometimes just simply hang out with us. These are memories that will stay with me for the rest of my life. These memories are a part of his legacy he left behind.
Mothers, unless you made this child all by yourself, what makes you think you have the right to keep the child away from a man that has done nothing that would bring any harm to the child?
Most mothers will even admit that children react differently when a man speaks then when she does. Men have that authoritative type voice. When a man tells a child to do something or not to do something, the reaction from a child is different. Even if you are a strong woman like my mom was it was still different when my dad told me to do something compared to my mom.
Moms and Dads: what kind of memories are you planting in your child's head? Dads: what kind of legacy are you leaving for your child? What do you want your child to say about you? Mothers: if you really love your child, do you really think it is right that they grow up without a father in their lives or memories of a man that you have painted a negative picture of?
In case you have not seen statistics on the affect on a fatherless child, here are just a few of them:
63% of youth suicides are from fatherless homes. (U.S. D.H.H.S - Bureau of Census)
71% of high school dropouts come from fatherless homes. (National Principles Association Report on the state of high schools)
90% of all homeless and runaway children are from fatherless homes.
So you can see that no matter what anyone has led you to believe, the presence of a father in a child's life does matter! We hear all the time about how important a mother is in a child's life, and they are, but so are fathers!
Ask yourself, what kind of life long memories are you helping them to form? Keep in count that negative thoughts often bring on negative reactions and behaviors.
Both parents needs to always remember and think about just how much impact you have on your children.
Wouldn't you want to be in her life as a good father so she can see what a good father looks like? Or is it okay with you that she grows up to marry a man that treats her like she is less of a human being, his footstool, his maid, belittling her, hitting her, and so on. You know the type.
Being a father myself, I must agree with Bill Cosby when he said, "Nothing I've ever done has given me more joys and rewards than being a father to my children."
I also must agree with Wilhelm Busch when he said, "Becoming a father is easy enough, but being one can be very rough."
No one ever said it would be easy. Being a good father IS a choice. What kind of father are you choosing to be?
Have you taken the easy road out or are you being there for you child?
In closing, Lois McMaster Bujold sums it up nicely when he said, "I am who I choose to be. I always have been what I chose - though not always what I pleased."
Mike Thompson
The Father's Show Resource Program
Article Source: [http://EzineArticles.com/?Being-A-Good-Father-Is-A-Choice&id=6435471] Being A Good Father Is A Choice
Wednesday, November 30, 2011
But, When Was the First Father's Day?
By [http://ezinearticles.com/?expert=Christine_Larsen]Christine Larsen
As I researched a tribute I was writing for my Dad, and trying to make it a 'timely' pre-release for the electronic or Internet countdown calendar for special events/anniversaries, I realised that the date of Father's Day in Australia, was not the same in the USA, or Canada, or UK... and my carefully planned timing therefore, was wrong!
Following recovery of my customary poise and 'cool' (?), my curiosity took over, and a whole new Pandora's Box of research reared its ugly head (occasionally a resemblance to a sniffer dog can been noted in my relentless pursuit of information and knowledge!).
So here were some of the questions I asked myself. And most times, myself found the answers - eventually!
When and where was the first Father's Day celebration?
On July 5th, 1908 in a church in West Virginia, USA, a special service was held to honour the deaths and celebrate the lives of 250 fathers (out of 361 men in total) who had died in a mining disaster a few months earlier. This terrible toll deprived over 1,000 children of having a father - and a complete family.
Did it follow annually from that date?
No. It would seem it was unpopular date - even considered inappropriate - because it followed America's joyous Independence Day celebrations too closely, being just the one day after the famous 4th July.
So what date was decided for the USA to celebrate...and why?
The 3rd Sunday in June was chosen, following the efforts of an Arkansas resident, Sonora Smart Dodd to have Father's Day recognised, in the same way as Mother's Day was being promoted. Sonora's personal interest stemmed from being one of six children raised by a single parent (also a Civil War veteran), and she had strongly wished it to be on June 5th, her father's birthday. Although the concept was accepted, the date didn't leave organisers sufficient time, and the 3rd Sunday in June was nominated and the first Father's Day celebrated in Spokane, Washington.
Was Father's Day now 'official'?
No. Despite various US Presidents recognising the day - or having wanted to make it 'official' (Woodrow Wilson in 1916; Calvin Coolidge in 1924; Lyndon B. Johnson in 1966). it was not until 1972, when Richard Nixon actually signed it into law that it was made a permanent National Holiday in the USA.
Which other countries celebrate on this same day?
Canada, England, France, half of South America, China, India, and Japan all share the same date for Father's Day as the USA.
Australia celebrates on the 1st Sunday in September, but it's not a public holiday. Why?
The choice of date remains a mystery, (despite my exhaustive, and exhausting research efforts), and I can only speculate on why it's not a public holiday. Maybe the Australian people felt there were enough public holidays already? And of course, there is no public holiday for Mother's Day either, probably setting a precedent.
Are there any countries that don't observe Father's Day at all?
Over two-thirds of Africa, and some Far Eastern countries do not observe Father's Day. I have not been able to establish the reason for this.
And here's a little 'trivia' that I discovered whilst researching this subject -
There are significantly fewer phone calls, cards and gifts on Father's Day than Mother's Day, reflecting the larger number of households with a mother (particularly single mothers), but not a father.
Interestingly, despite the smaller number of phone calls to Dads on Father's Day, an amazingly high percentage of these are collect calls (or reverse charge calls).
Oh-h-h...poor old Dad! Always needing his hand in his pocket for something!
� 2011 Christine Larsen All Rights Reserved Worldwide
And here's what created this whole line of questioning - [http://www.squidoo.com/in-my-fathers-day]My Father's Day is Every Day and how all these various dates impacted on my 'perfect timing' (NOT!) - [http://cdcraftee.wordpress.com/2011/07/28/some-fathers-do-ave-em]Some Fathers Do 'Ave 'Em
Article Source: [http://EzineArticles.com/?But,-When-Was-the-First-Fathers-Day?&id=6465534] But, When Was the First Father's Day?
As I researched a tribute I was writing for my Dad, and trying to make it a 'timely' pre-release for the electronic or Internet countdown calendar for special events/anniversaries, I realised that the date of Father's Day in Australia, was not the same in the USA, or Canada, or UK... and my carefully planned timing therefore, was wrong!
Following recovery of my customary poise and 'cool' (?), my curiosity took over, and a whole new Pandora's Box of research reared its ugly head (occasionally a resemblance to a sniffer dog can been noted in my relentless pursuit of information and knowledge!).
So here were some of the questions I asked myself. And most times, myself found the answers - eventually!
When and where was the first Father's Day celebration?
On July 5th, 1908 in a church in West Virginia, USA, a special service was held to honour the deaths and celebrate the lives of 250 fathers (out of 361 men in total) who had died in a mining disaster a few months earlier. This terrible toll deprived over 1,000 children of having a father - and a complete family.
Did it follow annually from that date?
No. It would seem it was unpopular date - even considered inappropriate - because it followed America's joyous Independence Day celebrations too closely, being just the one day after the famous 4th July.
So what date was decided for the USA to celebrate...and why?
The 3rd Sunday in June was chosen, following the efforts of an Arkansas resident, Sonora Smart Dodd to have Father's Day recognised, in the same way as Mother's Day was being promoted. Sonora's personal interest stemmed from being one of six children raised by a single parent (also a Civil War veteran), and she had strongly wished it to be on June 5th, her father's birthday. Although the concept was accepted, the date didn't leave organisers sufficient time, and the 3rd Sunday in June was nominated and the first Father's Day celebrated in Spokane, Washington.
Was Father's Day now 'official'?
No. Despite various US Presidents recognising the day - or having wanted to make it 'official' (Woodrow Wilson in 1916; Calvin Coolidge in 1924; Lyndon B. Johnson in 1966). it was not until 1972, when Richard Nixon actually signed it into law that it was made a permanent National Holiday in the USA.
Which other countries celebrate on this same day?
Canada, England, France, half of South America, China, India, and Japan all share the same date for Father's Day as the USA.
Australia celebrates on the 1st Sunday in September, but it's not a public holiday. Why?
The choice of date remains a mystery, (despite my exhaustive, and exhausting research efforts), and I can only speculate on why it's not a public holiday. Maybe the Australian people felt there were enough public holidays already? And of course, there is no public holiday for Mother's Day either, probably setting a precedent.
Are there any countries that don't observe Father's Day at all?
Over two-thirds of Africa, and some Far Eastern countries do not observe Father's Day. I have not been able to establish the reason for this.
And here's a little 'trivia' that I discovered whilst researching this subject -
There are significantly fewer phone calls, cards and gifts on Father's Day than Mother's Day, reflecting the larger number of households with a mother (particularly single mothers), but not a father.
Interestingly, despite the smaller number of phone calls to Dads on Father's Day, an amazingly high percentage of these are collect calls (or reverse charge calls).
Oh-h-h...poor old Dad! Always needing his hand in his pocket for something!
� 2011 Christine Larsen All Rights Reserved Worldwide
And here's what created this whole line of questioning - [http://www.squidoo.com/in-my-fathers-day]My Father's Day is Every Day and how all these various dates impacted on my 'perfect timing' (NOT!) - [http://cdcraftee.wordpress.com/2011/07/28/some-fathers-do-ave-em]Some Fathers Do 'Ave 'Em
Article Source: [http://EzineArticles.com/?But,-When-Was-the-First-Fathers-Day?&id=6465534] But, When Was the First Father's Day?
Monday, November 28, 2011
Being A Good Father
By [http://ezinearticles.com/?expert=Helen_Drake]Helen Drake
Research has found that children with emotionally available fathers do much better in school, relate better with teachers and generally have better peer relationships than children whose fathers are more emotionally distant. Children with fathers who are overly critical or dismissing of emotions are more likely to do poorly in school, fight more with friends and suffer poor health.
The single most preventative factor for reducing behavioral risks such as drug and alcohol abuse, early sexual activity, smoking and depression, is children's relationship to their parents, with fathers being noted as being of particular importance.
Being known means letting down the walls and sharing your life story, and having the courage to show your flaws, fears and joys. This is not to say that one should overburden a child with inappropriate revelations - it's about giving your child the gift of knowing who you are and what you feel on a regular basis.
What was your relationship like with your father? What were you like as a kid? Children need and want genuine insights into who you were (and are) as a person, not just as their father, but so that they can better understand who they are and where they come from. Let them into your experiences - the good and the bad, being embarrassed and feeling anxious, overcoming challenges, etc.
Share your stories about your life with your child. What stories are appropriate to share? The short answer is, trust your gut. While there are no hard and fast rules, here are a few guidelines:
Let your stories emerge naturally and in context. Bring up subjects too sometimes by saying things like, "when I was your age, I used to feel self conscious. Do you feel like that sometimes?" Tell them stories about things that are going on in your present life too. Include how you feel about things and not just facts. When you talk about your own feelings, you help children understand theirs.
When telling you child about your own childhood and the relationship you had with your father, keep in mind that your children have a relationship with their grandfather and do not divide a child's loyalties. If you had a physically, mentally, sexually or emotionally abusive father, then seek professional advice before sharing such stories; maybe talk about how you try to do things differently than your father did.
As well as sharing your stories you can also improve your relationship with your child in other ways:
Have fun. Fatherhood is a big responsibility but it can also be a lot of fun. Let them know that you enjoy spending time with them and love being their father.
Try to spend as much time with your children as possible, and take an equal share of the responsibility. Some fathers miss spending time with their kids because they have other responsibilities or interests, but you have to remember that once the opportunity has passed, it's gone and you can't get it back. If you don't establish an intimacy with your children when they're young, it'll be difficult to catch up when they're older and still need your help and support.
Practice what you preach. Children need to be taught right from wrong and will need to see it demonstrated by their father. Let them see you make decisions and explain to them why you came to that resolution. Tell them about life choices that you made in the past and why they did (or didn't) work out. Teach them that it's okay to make mistakes... everyone does; that it's important to learn from your mistakes and try to avoid making the same mistakes over and over again
Show affection. Some men are uncomfortable showing their children affection and communicating their love, but it not only shows your child that you love them, but it also teaches them that it's okay to show affection to others.
Respect your children's mother. Mutual respect is very important whether you are married (or living with one another) or not. Children tend to mimic the way their parents behave and how you treat your child's mother will influence the way in which the child will view his or her own role when they themselves are married or in a relationship. Try to work as a partnership, be on the same page about how to discipline and reward your child and be consistent.
Don't put unreasonable expectations on your children. Children can have lots of pressures, from siblings to kids at school to teachers to coaches. Talk to them about their goals in life and help them set achievable ones. Never bring them down by telling them that they are not good enough but always try to boost their self esteem and be sure to offer praise where it is due. Encourage them to meet their full potential but avoid living vicariously through them by expecting them to achieve what you had achieved or hoped to have achieved.
Don't have unreasonable expectations of yourself either as a parent. You are a very important part of your child's development but many other people and things will influence their development and growth. Just as you can't take credit for all of your child's strengths you also shouldn't shoulder the blame for their weaknesses.
Finally, realize that your job as a father is not over when they reach 21. You should encourage them to be independent - emotionally and financially, but at the same time, let them know that you love them and will always be there for them.
Responsible for all editorial content - research, writing, proofreading and editing - for a health magazine. This is a magazine aimed at all health professionals - doctors, dentists, chiropractors, etc - and to the general public. As a certified Reiki Master, my articles tend to lean towards preventative measures; healthy eating; healthy lifestyle; alternative therapies and natural healing.
Article Source: [http://EzineArticles.com/?Being-A-Good-Father&id=6457792] Being A Good Father
Research has found that children with emotionally available fathers do much better in school, relate better with teachers and generally have better peer relationships than children whose fathers are more emotionally distant. Children with fathers who are overly critical or dismissing of emotions are more likely to do poorly in school, fight more with friends and suffer poor health.
The single most preventative factor for reducing behavioral risks such as drug and alcohol abuse, early sexual activity, smoking and depression, is children's relationship to their parents, with fathers being noted as being of particular importance.
Being known means letting down the walls and sharing your life story, and having the courage to show your flaws, fears and joys. This is not to say that one should overburden a child with inappropriate revelations - it's about giving your child the gift of knowing who you are and what you feel on a regular basis.
What was your relationship like with your father? What were you like as a kid? Children need and want genuine insights into who you were (and are) as a person, not just as their father, but so that they can better understand who they are and where they come from. Let them into your experiences - the good and the bad, being embarrassed and feeling anxious, overcoming challenges, etc.
Share your stories about your life with your child. What stories are appropriate to share? The short answer is, trust your gut. While there are no hard and fast rules, here are a few guidelines:
Let your stories emerge naturally and in context. Bring up subjects too sometimes by saying things like, "when I was your age, I used to feel self conscious. Do you feel like that sometimes?" Tell them stories about things that are going on in your present life too. Include how you feel about things and not just facts. When you talk about your own feelings, you help children understand theirs.
When telling you child about your own childhood and the relationship you had with your father, keep in mind that your children have a relationship with their grandfather and do not divide a child's loyalties. If you had a physically, mentally, sexually or emotionally abusive father, then seek professional advice before sharing such stories; maybe talk about how you try to do things differently than your father did.
As well as sharing your stories you can also improve your relationship with your child in other ways:
Have fun. Fatherhood is a big responsibility but it can also be a lot of fun. Let them know that you enjoy spending time with them and love being their father.
Try to spend as much time with your children as possible, and take an equal share of the responsibility. Some fathers miss spending time with their kids because they have other responsibilities or interests, but you have to remember that once the opportunity has passed, it's gone and you can't get it back. If you don't establish an intimacy with your children when they're young, it'll be difficult to catch up when they're older and still need your help and support.
Practice what you preach. Children need to be taught right from wrong and will need to see it demonstrated by their father. Let them see you make decisions and explain to them why you came to that resolution. Tell them about life choices that you made in the past and why they did (or didn't) work out. Teach them that it's okay to make mistakes... everyone does; that it's important to learn from your mistakes and try to avoid making the same mistakes over and over again
Show affection. Some men are uncomfortable showing their children affection and communicating their love, but it not only shows your child that you love them, but it also teaches them that it's okay to show affection to others.
Respect your children's mother. Mutual respect is very important whether you are married (or living with one another) or not. Children tend to mimic the way their parents behave and how you treat your child's mother will influence the way in which the child will view his or her own role when they themselves are married or in a relationship. Try to work as a partnership, be on the same page about how to discipline and reward your child and be consistent.
Don't put unreasonable expectations on your children. Children can have lots of pressures, from siblings to kids at school to teachers to coaches. Talk to them about their goals in life and help them set achievable ones. Never bring them down by telling them that they are not good enough but always try to boost their self esteem and be sure to offer praise where it is due. Encourage them to meet their full potential but avoid living vicariously through them by expecting them to achieve what you had achieved or hoped to have achieved.
Don't have unreasonable expectations of yourself either as a parent. You are a very important part of your child's development but many other people and things will influence their development and growth. Just as you can't take credit for all of your child's strengths you also shouldn't shoulder the blame for their weaknesses.
Finally, realize that your job as a father is not over when they reach 21. You should encourage them to be independent - emotionally and financially, but at the same time, let them know that you love them and will always be there for them.
Responsible for all editorial content - research, writing, proofreading and editing - for a health magazine. This is a magazine aimed at all health professionals - doctors, dentists, chiropractors, etc - and to the general public. As a certified Reiki Master, my articles tend to lean towards preventative measures; healthy eating; healthy lifestyle; alternative therapies and natural healing.
Article Source: [http://EzineArticles.com/?Being-A-Good-Father&id=6457792] Being A Good Father
Saturday, November 26, 2011
Unique Gifts for Dad - Go Bizarre to Show Your Affection
By [http://ezinearticles.com/?expert=Rachael_Celia_Berlie]Rachael Celia Berlie
Our dad is the most lovable man on earth and the first man we come to know of. Here are some unique gifts for dad. They need not be necessarily given for his birthday. Whenever you think of him you can give him one.
When you leave home either to study or get married, whatever the reason may be your dad is going to definitely miss you. But you can always give him a gift and make him happy. This gift should be rare and funny, so dad can have memories to treasure all his life.
You can buy him a pop up toy to instantly scare him. Give it to him when he's just out of bed then he is bound to jump up and say "oh my goodness what is this?". Only after that he's going to realize the prank played on him. At the same time he will love you with all his heart.
If you gift him with a pair of old fart slippers then every time he uses it he will be in reels of laughter and the whole household will end up laughing. Dad will feel embarrassed, but will put up with it if he feels there's happiness all around him.
What about a funny-shaped mug? When dad drinks his coffee he will keep laughing everyday, I suppose till his coffee is cold! Yet he will prefer to drink in this mug because you gave it to him.
You could give him an oil painting with a bear wearing dad's underwear imagine dad's face! He will be so embarrassed and at the same time delighted!
If you make dad sit on a brain fart cushion is like telling him dad your brain seems to work no more. He might not take it well immediately, but he will laugh like a child.
If the old man is witty then you can give him an inflatable tie where he can doze off at a moment. It is lovely to look at as well as beautifully designed. He might even recommend it to someone. This gift can also be given as a father's day gift.
Give daddy a denture bottle opener and he will be delighted! Whenever his friends come home and he's going to use it, his friends will wonder what their friend is doing with his dentures! They might refuse their drink till the explanation is sorted out and dad tells them his lovely son or daughter gave it to him.
You can even make a frightening mask to frighten pop, but make sure he does not have any heart problems, otherwise your gift might change the scene of laughter! Make sure to surprise him by giving him a hair brush if he is bald. He will actually love you and your bizarre gifts.
Finally you can make your father happy by just being a good son or daughter who carries out all his wishes, what could be a more bizarre gift than that?
This article on [http://www.marqartgiftshop.com/Gifts-for-Dad_c_57.html]unique gifts for dad for any occasion was written by Rachael Celia Berlie of MarqART Gift Shop.
Our wood designs are original works of art, no two creations are the same. Each wood shown has its own unique wood grain pattern and color. MarqART comes from combining the words marquetry (wood inlay) + Art (a creation of beauty) an apt name for our products. A fine addition to your dressing table or as a gift.
For meaningful [http://www.marqartgiftshop.com/Unique-Gifts_c_52.html]unique gifts for your loved ones, please visit marqartgiftshop.com.
Article Source: [http://EzineArticles.com/?Unique-Gifts-for-Dad---Go-Bizarre-to-Show-Your-Affection&id=6474403] Unique Gifts for Dad - Go Bizarre to Show Your Affection
Our dad is the most lovable man on earth and the first man we come to know of. Here are some unique gifts for dad. They need not be necessarily given for his birthday. Whenever you think of him you can give him one.
When you leave home either to study or get married, whatever the reason may be your dad is going to definitely miss you. But you can always give him a gift and make him happy. This gift should be rare and funny, so dad can have memories to treasure all his life.
You can buy him a pop up toy to instantly scare him. Give it to him when he's just out of bed then he is bound to jump up and say "oh my goodness what is this?". Only after that he's going to realize the prank played on him. At the same time he will love you with all his heart.
If you gift him with a pair of old fart slippers then every time he uses it he will be in reels of laughter and the whole household will end up laughing. Dad will feel embarrassed, but will put up with it if he feels there's happiness all around him.
What about a funny-shaped mug? When dad drinks his coffee he will keep laughing everyday, I suppose till his coffee is cold! Yet he will prefer to drink in this mug because you gave it to him.
You could give him an oil painting with a bear wearing dad's underwear imagine dad's face! He will be so embarrassed and at the same time delighted!
If you make dad sit on a brain fart cushion is like telling him dad your brain seems to work no more. He might not take it well immediately, but he will laugh like a child.
If the old man is witty then you can give him an inflatable tie where he can doze off at a moment. It is lovely to look at as well as beautifully designed. He might even recommend it to someone. This gift can also be given as a father's day gift.
Give daddy a denture bottle opener and he will be delighted! Whenever his friends come home and he's going to use it, his friends will wonder what their friend is doing with his dentures! They might refuse their drink till the explanation is sorted out and dad tells them his lovely son or daughter gave it to him.
You can even make a frightening mask to frighten pop, but make sure he does not have any heart problems, otherwise your gift might change the scene of laughter! Make sure to surprise him by giving him a hair brush if he is bald. He will actually love you and your bizarre gifts.
Finally you can make your father happy by just being a good son or daughter who carries out all his wishes, what could be a more bizarre gift than that?
This article on [http://www.marqartgiftshop.com/Gifts-for-Dad_c_57.html]unique gifts for dad for any occasion was written by Rachael Celia Berlie of MarqART Gift Shop.
Our wood designs are original works of art, no two creations are the same. Each wood shown has its own unique wood grain pattern and color. MarqART comes from combining the words marquetry (wood inlay) + Art (a creation of beauty) an apt name for our products. A fine addition to your dressing table or as a gift.
For meaningful [http://www.marqartgiftshop.com/Unique-Gifts_c_52.html]unique gifts for your loved ones, please visit marqartgiftshop.com.
Article Source: [http://EzineArticles.com/?Unique-Gifts-for-Dad---Go-Bizarre-to-Show-Your-Affection&id=6474403] Unique Gifts for Dad - Go Bizarre to Show Your Affection
Thursday, November 24, 2011
The Commercial Origins of Father's Day
By [http://ezinearticles.com/?expert=Spencer_Samaroo]Spencer Samaroo
Father's Day is a widely known celebration that honours fathers and celebrates fatherhood, paternal bonds, and the general influence of good fathers in society as a whole. Like Mother's Day it is a world wide celebration, but it is not uniformly celebrated on the same day and is not a public holiday in every country. In fact it is celebrated on 26 different days throughout the year starting on January 6th in Serbia and finishing on 26th December in Bulgaria.
The exact origins of this paternal celebration are unclear but some historians believe that the tradition started in Babylon as long as 4,000 years ago when a son called Elmesu carved a father's day message on a clay card, wishing him a long and healthy life. In more recent times the tradition of celebrating Father's Day in the format it takes today originated in the last century. Though there are several people who are credited for furthering the cause of Father's Day, including the delightfully named Mrs. Grace Golden Clayton, who organised a 'celebration' to the lives and memories of the 210 fathers who had been tragically lost in the Monongah Mining disaster in West Virginia, on December 6, 1907, it is generally agreed that Ms Sonora Louise Smart Dodd has the most valuable contribution.
A loving daughter from Spokane, Washington, Ms Dodd is recognized as the founder (or perhaps more appropriately the Mother) of the Father's Day Festival. Conceiving the idea in 1909, at the age of 27, when she happened to hear a Mother's Day sermon, Sonora immediately began to recognise the hardships and sacrifices her father must have made when he was left to bring up his six children alone after his wife died during childbirth. Remembering that she was only 16 at the time Sonora reasoned that if there is already in place day to recognise mothers then why is not there a day to honour fathers?
Initially many people ridiculed Sonora's idea. However this did not deter her and she began a driven and heartfeld campaign of lobbying for the cause of celebrating fathers. Her hard work and dilligence began to show signs of success when the city of Spokane with the support of the Spokane Ministerial Association and the local Young Men's Christian Association (YMCA), celebrated its first Father's Day on June 19, 1910. To honour her own father, Sonora wished that Father's Day be celebrated on his birthday on June 5, but as it turned out there was not enough time for adequate preparation and the day came to be celebrated on third Sunday in the month of June.
The idea of celebrating Father's Day soon gained support in high places. In the USA President Woodrow Wilson originally approved of it in 1916. President Calvin Coolidge also supported the idea but it was President Lyndon Johnson who first signed a Presidential Proclamation declaring the third Sunday of June in 1966 to be Father's Day. Finally in 1972, over 60 years after Dodd had first conceived the idea and six years before her death, President Richard Nixon established a permanent national observance of Father's Day to be held on the third Sunday of June.
Despite the support of these Presidents, the YWCA, the YMCA and various churches around the world Father's Day was still derided by some cynics as merely a marketing ploy and the first step to filling the calendar with mindless promotions. To be fair it is not hard to see why they thought this. Originally Father's Day celebrations tended to involve family oriented activities like dinners, picnics and day trips and not necessarily the act of giving a gift. The motivating trigger for this turned out to be The Associated Men's Wear Retailers who formed a National Father's Day Committee in New York City in the 1930s, (which was later renamed in 1938 to National Council for the Promotion of Father's Day and incorporated several other trade groups) with the expressed intention of legitimising the celebration in the minds of the general public and managing it as a commercial event in order to boost sales.
Rather cleverly the Committee used the pervading tendency to ridicule and deride Father's Day to their advantage by mocking the holiday on the very same advertisements they used to promote it. Banking, quite correctly as it turned out, that consumers would feel obliged to buy their father's gifts even though they saw through the commercial fa�ade, the custom of giving gifts on that day became progressively more accepted. By 1937 the Father's Day Council calculated that only one in six Father's had received a present on that day. However, by the 1980s, the Council proclaimed they had achieved their goal as the one-day celebration had now evolved into a three-week commercial event that was like a 'second Christmas'.
Thanks to Sonora, Father's Day today is a hugely popular celebration the world over as people thank their father and pay tribute to his ongoing love and support. Most commonly families still spend quality time together over dinner, at picnics or day trips and children gift their fathers with a wide range of presents. Neckties, grooming products and confectionery being amongst the most popular.
Spencer Samaroo, Managing Director, Moo-Lolly-Bar http://www.moolollybar.com.au The best online chocolate, lolly and confectionery store on the web!
Article Source: [http://EzineArticles.com/?The-Commercial-Origins-of-Fathers-Day&id=4915112] The Commercial Origins of Father's Day
Father's Day is a widely known celebration that honours fathers and celebrates fatherhood, paternal bonds, and the general influence of good fathers in society as a whole. Like Mother's Day it is a world wide celebration, but it is not uniformly celebrated on the same day and is not a public holiday in every country. In fact it is celebrated on 26 different days throughout the year starting on January 6th in Serbia and finishing on 26th December in Bulgaria.
The exact origins of this paternal celebration are unclear but some historians believe that the tradition started in Babylon as long as 4,000 years ago when a son called Elmesu carved a father's day message on a clay card, wishing him a long and healthy life. In more recent times the tradition of celebrating Father's Day in the format it takes today originated in the last century. Though there are several people who are credited for furthering the cause of Father's Day, including the delightfully named Mrs. Grace Golden Clayton, who organised a 'celebration' to the lives and memories of the 210 fathers who had been tragically lost in the Monongah Mining disaster in West Virginia, on December 6, 1907, it is generally agreed that Ms Sonora Louise Smart Dodd has the most valuable contribution.
A loving daughter from Spokane, Washington, Ms Dodd is recognized as the founder (or perhaps more appropriately the Mother) of the Father's Day Festival. Conceiving the idea in 1909, at the age of 27, when she happened to hear a Mother's Day sermon, Sonora immediately began to recognise the hardships and sacrifices her father must have made when he was left to bring up his six children alone after his wife died during childbirth. Remembering that she was only 16 at the time Sonora reasoned that if there is already in place day to recognise mothers then why is not there a day to honour fathers?
Initially many people ridiculed Sonora's idea. However this did not deter her and she began a driven and heartfeld campaign of lobbying for the cause of celebrating fathers. Her hard work and dilligence began to show signs of success when the city of Spokane with the support of the Spokane Ministerial Association and the local Young Men's Christian Association (YMCA), celebrated its first Father's Day on June 19, 1910. To honour her own father, Sonora wished that Father's Day be celebrated on his birthday on June 5, but as it turned out there was not enough time for adequate preparation and the day came to be celebrated on third Sunday in the month of June.
The idea of celebrating Father's Day soon gained support in high places. In the USA President Woodrow Wilson originally approved of it in 1916. President Calvin Coolidge also supported the idea but it was President Lyndon Johnson who first signed a Presidential Proclamation declaring the third Sunday of June in 1966 to be Father's Day. Finally in 1972, over 60 years after Dodd had first conceived the idea and six years before her death, President Richard Nixon established a permanent national observance of Father's Day to be held on the third Sunday of June.
Despite the support of these Presidents, the YWCA, the YMCA and various churches around the world Father's Day was still derided by some cynics as merely a marketing ploy and the first step to filling the calendar with mindless promotions. To be fair it is not hard to see why they thought this. Originally Father's Day celebrations tended to involve family oriented activities like dinners, picnics and day trips and not necessarily the act of giving a gift. The motivating trigger for this turned out to be The Associated Men's Wear Retailers who formed a National Father's Day Committee in New York City in the 1930s, (which was later renamed in 1938 to National Council for the Promotion of Father's Day and incorporated several other trade groups) with the expressed intention of legitimising the celebration in the minds of the general public and managing it as a commercial event in order to boost sales.
Rather cleverly the Committee used the pervading tendency to ridicule and deride Father's Day to their advantage by mocking the holiday on the very same advertisements they used to promote it. Banking, quite correctly as it turned out, that consumers would feel obliged to buy their father's gifts even though they saw through the commercial fa�ade, the custom of giving gifts on that day became progressively more accepted. By 1937 the Father's Day Council calculated that only one in six Father's had received a present on that day. However, by the 1980s, the Council proclaimed they had achieved their goal as the one-day celebration had now evolved into a three-week commercial event that was like a 'second Christmas'.
Thanks to Sonora, Father's Day today is a hugely popular celebration the world over as people thank their father and pay tribute to his ongoing love and support. Most commonly families still spend quality time together over dinner, at picnics or day trips and children gift their fathers with a wide range of presents. Neckties, grooming products and confectionery being amongst the most popular.
Spencer Samaroo, Managing Director, Moo-Lolly-Bar http://www.moolollybar.com.au The best online chocolate, lolly and confectionery store on the web!
Article Source: [http://EzineArticles.com/?The-Commercial-Origins-of-Fathers-Day&id=4915112] The Commercial Origins of Father's Day
Tuesday, November 22, 2011
High Chair - Nightmare?
By [http://ezinearticles.com/?expert=Felix_John_James]Felix John James
As a father of two children, I know how hard it can be to find a good restaurant that has high chairs readily available and baby changing facilities in the toilets. But, after I've scouted around for restaurants that fit my practical needs as a parent, should I then need to look through the microscope at what kind of conditions I'm putting my young baby and toddler onto?
Well I'm sure you've guessed from the title that answer is probably yes. I noticed this spring that my children were suffering more frequent and acute stomach upsets, and it coincided with short breaks we'd had, after a long winter of no down-time. It was after we returned home that it occurred to me that actually we never tend to eat out with the children, let alone for two or three meals of the day like we do on our summer break. Of course, for the most part, we fed them food we'd brought with us to the cafes and restaurants - the same as at home - but that didn't prevent the stomach upsets. I immediately concluded it must be the different water, before realising trips to see family in different parts of the country contradicted that theory. So looking for another explanation I thought I'd ask my friends for their opinion and do some internet research. It was while undertaking the latter, that I grew to realise just how unhygienic an environment the high-chairs I was putting my children in really were. If you believe the research I'd literally have been better off feeding my baby off toilet seats, and changing them on the floor. On average high chairs, for example, have 15x the amount of bacteria per sqm than the average toilet seat in the same establishment, with some statistics going much higher (100x and beyond). I found myself thinking, do these places not use the same sort of disinfectants as I do at home? You often see waitresses giving high-chairs a wipe over before you eat, so why are they so contaminated? The answer is beyond the scope of this article, but in short I realised standard disinfectants stop working after they've dried, which is about a minute, after this period bacteria can grow back again just as easily, and this is precipitated by 'missing a spot' when wiping up.
So rationally I would assume a good proportion of these pathogens and bacteria will be from food matter that - probably - are fairly harmless. I was wrong again, extremely potent and dangerous germs such as E-coli, Staph. Aureus and Enterococcus Faecalis and more, were present. The symptoms? 'Upset stomachs and serious illness', and being particularly dangerous to '...babies, young children and the elderly'. In the interests of balance (and not being alarmist) it's worth noting that serious illness and death as a result of infection from high-chairs is not mentioned in any published studies I've read, the levels of contamination appear to be enough for bad stomach upsets only, but this is still undesirable from my point of view.
All studies did stress however, that chairs can look spotless and actually be the most contaminated. It shows the ineffectiveness of current cleaning practices and attitudes, the notion that 'if it looks clean, it is clean' still prevails despite all the advancements we've made after proving what we call 'germ theory' in the early 19th century.
The answer appeared to be simple: stay at home when feeding my kids. I was wrong again! A study from 2007 showed that 60% of high chair trays in households were themselves home to the same types of dangerous bacteria as the restaurants'. Considering how tactile my kids are, indeed all young children share a proclivity to chew and put in their mouths everything they can see, it's very worrying indeed, knowing that hand to mouth interaction is the primary source of infection for all of us, with children having weaker immune systems compounding the issue.
Being a practical kind of guy, I figured out a strategy to combat this problem, we'd clean everything ourselves, even clean the babies hands if necessary with hand sanitisers and soaps. As I'm sure you've anticipated, this became another worrying issue. Finding products gentle and safe for babies' skin and environment is no mean feat, alcohol gels and wipes are out for obvious reasons and many others were simply not gentle enough or contained unbelievably toxic substances like 'triclosan' which are only used in cosmetics because it's a cheap method of disposal for industrial chemical manufactures waste (a story for another time I think).
It was on this journey to protect my own children that I grew more and more to thinking, wouldn't it be good if all parents made sure their children were happily hygienic, in the high chairs and the like, that if we all could clean surfaces down and use hand sanitisers, we'd spread cleanliness instead of germs. We'd need a product that was safe, hypo-allergenic and lasted - if possible - to keep on protecting.
It turns out there are disinfectant products out there that are food safe, that last on surfaces hours after applying, that last on skin too, where it would only take a few responsible parents to protect everyone's children day after day, meal after meal. Problem solved. [http://steri7.com/about-steri-7]Steri-7 Disinfectant cleaner is proven to last on surfaces for 7 days+. Its range includes trigger sprays and surface wipes; a [http://steri7.com/hand-sanitisers-and-soap]hand care range with proven 3 hours of protection is also available.
Felix James is a marketing author bringing new and innovative products - often previously the preserve of professional markets - to the general public.
Article Source: [http://EzineArticles.com/?High-Chair---Nightmare?&id=6483568] High Chair - Nightmare?
As a father of two children, I know how hard it can be to find a good restaurant that has high chairs readily available and baby changing facilities in the toilets. But, after I've scouted around for restaurants that fit my practical needs as a parent, should I then need to look through the microscope at what kind of conditions I'm putting my young baby and toddler onto?
Well I'm sure you've guessed from the title that answer is probably yes. I noticed this spring that my children were suffering more frequent and acute stomach upsets, and it coincided with short breaks we'd had, after a long winter of no down-time. It was after we returned home that it occurred to me that actually we never tend to eat out with the children, let alone for two or three meals of the day like we do on our summer break. Of course, for the most part, we fed them food we'd brought with us to the cafes and restaurants - the same as at home - but that didn't prevent the stomach upsets. I immediately concluded it must be the different water, before realising trips to see family in different parts of the country contradicted that theory. So looking for another explanation I thought I'd ask my friends for their opinion and do some internet research. It was while undertaking the latter, that I grew to realise just how unhygienic an environment the high-chairs I was putting my children in really were. If you believe the research I'd literally have been better off feeding my baby off toilet seats, and changing them on the floor. On average high chairs, for example, have 15x the amount of bacteria per sqm than the average toilet seat in the same establishment, with some statistics going much higher (100x and beyond). I found myself thinking, do these places not use the same sort of disinfectants as I do at home? You often see waitresses giving high-chairs a wipe over before you eat, so why are they so contaminated? The answer is beyond the scope of this article, but in short I realised standard disinfectants stop working after they've dried, which is about a minute, after this period bacteria can grow back again just as easily, and this is precipitated by 'missing a spot' when wiping up.
So rationally I would assume a good proportion of these pathogens and bacteria will be from food matter that - probably - are fairly harmless. I was wrong again, extremely potent and dangerous germs such as E-coli, Staph. Aureus and Enterococcus Faecalis and more, were present. The symptoms? 'Upset stomachs and serious illness', and being particularly dangerous to '...babies, young children and the elderly'. In the interests of balance (and not being alarmist) it's worth noting that serious illness and death as a result of infection from high-chairs is not mentioned in any published studies I've read, the levels of contamination appear to be enough for bad stomach upsets only, but this is still undesirable from my point of view.
All studies did stress however, that chairs can look spotless and actually be the most contaminated. It shows the ineffectiveness of current cleaning practices and attitudes, the notion that 'if it looks clean, it is clean' still prevails despite all the advancements we've made after proving what we call 'germ theory' in the early 19th century.
The answer appeared to be simple: stay at home when feeding my kids. I was wrong again! A study from 2007 showed that 60% of high chair trays in households were themselves home to the same types of dangerous bacteria as the restaurants'. Considering how tactile my kids are, indeed all young children share a proclivity to chew and put in their mouths everything they can see, it's very worrying indeed, knowing that hand to mouth interaction is the primary source of infection for all of us, with children having weaker immune systems compounding the issue.
Being a practical kind of guy, I figured out a strategy to combat this problem, we'd clean everything ourselves, even clean the babies hands if necessary with hand sanitisers and soaps. As I'm sure you've anticipated, this became another worrying issue. Finding products gentle and safe for babies' skin and environment is no mean feat, alcohol gels and wipes are out for obvious reasons and many others were simply not gentle enough or contained unbelievably toxic substances like 'triclosan' which are only used in cosmetics because it's a cheap method of disposal for industrial chemical manufactures waste (a story for another time I think).
It was on this journey to protect my own children that I grew more and more to thinking, wouldn't it be good if all parents made sure their children were happily hygienic, in the high chairs and the like, that if we all could clean surfaces down and use hand sanitisers, we'd spread cleanliness instead of germs. We'd need a product that was safe, hypo-allergenic and lasted - if possible - to keep on protecting.
It turns out there are disinfectant products out there that are food safe, that last on surfaces hours after applying, that last on skin too, where it would only take a few responsible parents to protect everyone's children day after day, meal after meal. Problem solved. [http://steri7.com/about-steri-7]Steri-7 Disinfectant cleaner is proven to last on surfaces for 7 days+. Its range includes trigger sprays and surface wipes; a [http://steri7.com/hand-sanitisers-and-soap]hand care range with proven 3 hours of protection is also available.
Felix James is a marketing author bringing new and innovative products - often previously the preserve of professional markets - to the general public.
Article Source: [http://EzineArticles.com/?High-Chair---Nightmare?&id=6483568] High Chair - Nightmare?
Sunday, November 20, 2011
When The Going Gets Tough The Dads Get Going
By [http://ezinearticles.com/?expert=Malik_Amit]Malik Amit
For a long time now, I have felt the need to write about dads and their contribution to the family unit in times of significant challenge. Hardship and challenges are part of life's lot and it is at such times that dads step up to be counted.
Hardship and challenges can come in different guises. Facing the loss of a loved one, going through financial struggle due to job loss and facing life threatening illness is just part of the tapestry of family life. Every struggle has a way of bringing out the best or the worst in the members of the family unit but dads have a unique place in the way the family as a whole faces up to the crisis.
Bear with me for a moment as I attempt to use the example of a captain of a boat. We know that a boat has just the one rudder and therefore can only have one individual steering it at a time. The individual who has control of the steering wheel is the one who decides on the direction the boat will go. It is possible in calm seas for different members of the boat to 'have a go' at the steering wheel but when the storms come, when the winds blow the captain of the boat has to be the steadying hand that guides the boat through the storm and to its destination.
So how does this apply to the family unit?
In times of crisis, the last thing that is needed is for dad to throw in the towel and say 'I cannot go on anymore'. Giving in to despair is a luxury that dads can ill afford. Dads at this point need to dig deep and find the reserves of strength to persevere; to be the calm in the midst of the storm; to be the rock the other members of the family could lean on.
This is by no means easy. Dads are human and need to be able to on the one hand, maintain that solid exterior of a rock and on the other, they need to find an outlet for their own emotion.
There are different ways that dads can do this. From a personal front, I have found that my faith in God has been a huge positive in enabling me to vent my emotions through prayer. Confiding with those members of the extended family who are more experienced is another means of release. Some times dads may not have the luxury of being able to turn to their own parents for support and that is why it is important to develop close relationships with other parents who are more experienced.
It is true that mom and dad need to talk to each other and find strength from one another but I have not included it as a means of venting one's emotion because that is the last thing that you would want to do. At a time when dad needs to be a support to mom and the kids, you would not want dad to use mom as a means of releasing pent-up emotion. This would no doubt have a negative effect.
Dad need to bear in mind that mom is probably just as frazzled if not more than dad. Mom would be looking to dad for support at this stage. It is up to dad to not be found wanting.
Author: Malik Amit
Website Address: http://thatsminedad.com
Here at thatsminedad.com, we have linked with some of the leading companies in the country to provide dads with a one-stop shop and resource of helps and self-helps that would help foster their relationship with their children. If you are looking to build your relationship with your children then please visit us.
You can also follow us on twitter at http://twitter.com/thatsminedad
Article Source: [http://EzineArticles.com/?When-The-Going-Gets-Tough-The-Dads-Get-Going&id=6501713] When The Going Gets Tough The Dads Get Going
For a long time now, I have felt the need to write about dads and their contribution to the family unit in times of significant challenge. Hardship and challenges are part of life's lot and it is at such times that dads step up to be counted.
Hardship and challenges can come in different guises. Facing the loss of a loved one, going through financial struggle due to job loss and facing life threatening illness is just part of the tapestry of family life. Every struggle has a way of bringing out the best or the worst in the members of the family unit but dads have a unique place in the way the family as a whole faces up to the crisis.
Bear with me for a moment as I attempt to use the example of a captain of a boat. We know that a boat has just the one rudder and therefore can only have one individual steering it at a time. The individual who has control of the steering wheel is the one who decides on the direction the boat will go. It is possible in calm seas for different members of the boat to 'have a go' at the steering wheel but when the storms come, when the winds blow the captain of the boat has to be the steadying hand that guides the boat through the storm and to its destination.
So how does this apply to the family unit?
In times of crisis, the last thing that is needed is for dad to throw in the towel and say 'I cannot go on anymore'. Giving in to despair is a luxury that dads can ill afford. Dads at this point need to dig deep and find the reserves of strength to persevere; to be the calm in the midst of the storm; to be the rock the other members of the family could lean on.
This is by no means easy. Dads are human and need to be able to on the one hand, maintain that solid exterior of a rock and on the other, they need to find an outlet for their own emotion.
There are different ways that dads can do this. From a personal front, I have found that my faith in God has been a huge positive in enabling me to vent my emotions through prayer. Confiding with those members of the extended family who are more experienced is another means of release. Some times dads may not have the luxury of being able to turn to their own parents for support and that is why it is important to develop close relationships with other parents who are more experienced.
It is true that mom and dad need to talk to each other and find strength from one another but I have not included it as a means of venting one's emotion because that is the last thing that you would want to do. At a time when dad needs to be a support to mom and the kids, you would not want dad to use mom as a means of releasing pent-up emotion. This would no doubt have a negative effect.
Dad need to bear in mind that mom is probably just as frazzled if not more than dad. Mom would be looking to dad for support at this stage. It is up to dad to not be found wanting.
Author: Malik Amit
Website Address: http://thatsminedad.com
Here at thatsminedad.com, we have linked with some of the leading companies in the country to provide dads with a one-stop shop and resource of helps and self-helps that would help foster their relationship with their children. If you are looking to build your relationship with your children then please visit us.
You can also follow us on twitter at http://twitter.com/thatsminedad
Article Source: [http://EzineArticles.com/?When-The-Going-Gets-Tough-The-Dads-Get-Going&id=6501713] When The Going Gets Tough The Dads Get Going
Friday, November 18, 2011
Holistic Parenting: A Dad's Guide
By [http://ezinearticles.com/?expert=William_R_Bradley]William R Bradley
It doesn't take a genius to see that the family unit is undervalued in society. Moms have been ahead of dads in saying how their importance is minimized in the world's view. But now more then ever, so is the role of the father figure, who in some countries is rarely at home and always at work. In Japan, it is common to have fathers only spend time with their family on Sundays, since the rough commute and work schedule forces many to come home at late hours. This overworked figure many have adopted as their life has caused an increase in alcoholism and heart attack; work comes before family, in the world's view.
The US and UK may not have the same rigorous work schedule as say South Korea and Japan, but us dads still have the pressure of adopting the 9 to 5 routine, all the while struggling to find employment and time to somehow be a father. This structure is flawed at its core. How many people actually have a job they love and that revolves around them? Adding to this dilemma is the popular American fast food diet, which is cheap and eliminates the enjoyment of food that exists in say Italy. People are no longer eating food: we are eating faux food that is causing cancer to be on the rise, as well as heart disease.
The family pays for society's addiction to consumerism and a fast, misdirected lifestyle. Children are developing diabetes at a young age, and families are fragmented. Religions and spiritual philosophies are declining in many respects, and even though they may be severely flawed, most of these philosophies have had a deep respect and admiration for the family unit. In rel=nofollow [http://www.amazon.com/Raising-Faith-Filled-Kids-Opportunities-Spirituality/dp/0829414258/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1314540560&sr=8-1] Raising Faith Filled Families, author Tom McGrath writes "Our world looks with suspicion at faith in God yet blindly accepts advertising claims that a new kind of toilet bowl cleaner will make life more exciting and fulfilling."
Coach Matthew Kelly points out the war between society and the family in his book Building Better Families. But what can we do about it? The key to to begin thinking outside of the box, questioning everything we are told to eat, have, or do and to put our focus back onto our families. The increase in working from home and homeschooling shows families are indeed questioning the status quo and looking to alternative forms of living in order to live healthier, happier lives.
As a work from home dad with asthma, I chose to leave the 9 to 5 behind in order to heal myself and find happiness. Initially I was met with difficulties on all ends, as working from home is a real challenge, especially finding out what's right for you. Because of my illness and how little Western medicine knows about it, I began searching for cures from Eastern medicine and nutrition, and thankfully found out why I had asthma in the first place. This took out the guess work and fear of an attack.
Every family is different, and this goes without saying. But the key to holistic parenting and being a dad focused on health and happiness is to stop listening to what mainstream media says and not let our peers and neighbors deem what is write for our lives. It may be more challenging to say work from home, or do what Talon from rel=nofollow [http://www.1dad1kid.com/]1 Kid 1 Dad does ( travel the world with his son) but it is certainly worth doing. Finding what our dreams are and then following them is absolutely the first step to holistic living. It makes our children proud of us.
William Bradley, [http://www.holisticdad.net]Holistic Dad
William Bradley: father, husband, actor, and holistic life coach
Article Source: [http://EzineArticles.com/?Holistic-Parenting:-A-Dads-Guide&id=6524945] Holistic Parenting: A Dad's Guide
It doesn't take a genius to see that the family unit is undervalued in society. Moms have been ahead of dads in saying how their importance is minimized in the world's view. But now more then ever, so is the role of the father figure, who in some countries is rarely at home and always at work. In Japan, it is common to have fathers only spend time with their family on Sundays, since the rough commute and work schedule forces many to come home at late hours. This overworked figure many have adopted as their life has caused an increase in alcoholism and heart attack; work comes before family, in the world's view.
The US and UK may not have the same rigorous work schedule as say South Korea and Japan, but us dads still have the pressure of adopting the 9 to 5 routine, all the while struggling to find employment and time to somehow be a father. This structure is flawed at its core. How many people actually have a job they love and that revolves around them? Adding to this dilemma is the popular American fast food diet, which is cheap and eliminates the enjoyment of food that exists in say Italy. People are no longer eating food: we are eating faux food that is causing cancer to be on the rise, as well as heart disease.
The family pays for society's addiction to consumerism and a fast, misdirected lifestyle. Children are developing diabetes at a young age, and families are fragmented. Religions and spiritual philosophies are declining in many respects, and even though they may be severely flawed, most of these philosophies have had a deep respect and admiration for the family unit. In rel=nofollow [http://www.amazon.com/Raising-Faith-Filled-Kids-Opportunities-Spirituality/dp/0829414258/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1314540560&sr=8-1] Raising Faith Filled Families, author Tom McGrath writes "Our world looks with suspicion at faith in God yet blindly accepts advertising claims that a new kind of toilet bowl cleaner will make life more exciting and fulfilling."
Coach Matthew Kelly points out the war between society and the family in his book Building Better Families. But what can we do about it? The key to to begin thinking outside of the box, questioning everything we are told to eat, have, or do and to put our focus back onto our families. The increase in working from home and homeschooling shows families are indeed questioning the status quo and looking to alternative forms of living in order to live healthier, happier lives.
As a work from home dad with asthma, I chose to leave the 9 to 5 behind in order to heal myself and find happiness. Initially I was met with difficulties on all ends, as working from home is a real challenge, especially finding out what's right for you. Because of my illness and how little Western medicine knows about it, I began searching for cures from Eastern medicine and nutrition, and thankfully found out why I had asthma in the first place. This took out the guess work and fear of an attack.
Every family is different, and this goes without saying. But the key to holistic parenting and being a dad focused on health and happiness is to stop listening to what mainstream media says and not let our peers and neighbors deem what is write for our lives. It may be more challenging to say work from home, or do what Talon from rel=nofollow [http://www.1dad1kid.com/]1 Kid 1 Dad does ( travel the world with his son) but it is certainly worth doing. Finding what our dreams are and then following them is absolutely the first step to holistic living. It makes our children proud of us.
William Bradley, [http://www.holisticdad.net]Holistic Dad
William Bradley: father, husband, actor, and holistic life coach
Article Source: [http://EzineArticles.com/?Holistic-Parenting:-A-Dads-Guide&id=6524945] Holistic Parenting: A Dad's Guide
Wednesday, November 16, 2011
Becoming a Godly Father
By [http://ezinearticles.com/?expert=Butch_Heath]Butch Heath
I realize many men have made contributions to create such responses. There have been men who have left their wife and children to make it on their own. They have physically, emotionally, sexually, and financially abused their wives.
There have been women who have not been very angelic as well. But that is no reason for our society to put down and try to destroy what God has created. Men are necessary for our world and families today.
We dads have an extremely important role to play in the life of our children. Being a dad takes a major commitment. We must see ourselves spending time with our children not only because it is important but also because our role as a father before our children is critical to their wellbeing.
We men work hard at times improving our skills in a variety of areas in our life. We want to be better at our work, better in our investments, better at setting corporate performance, and even better at our hobbies. But when was the last time we bought a book or attended a class to help us improve our skills in fathering?
Please understand I do understand that too many of us are products of parents who believed children were the responsibility of mothers. But Dads, we must be connected to the daily operation of our families and to be able to clearly see the needs of our children. We cannot remain on the sidelines and expect mothers alone to raise our children.
Dads, we are extremely important to the spiritual and physical wellbeing of our homes. Mothers are extremely important as well. But when you have a loving, engaged, and spiritually committed father then you have the ingredients to have a godly home.
When you look back into the Old Testament you find an example of a father who was not Godly. It is good to learn from the mistakes of others as is the case of this Biblical example.
READ:
Genesis 13:1-13.
Genesis 19:26 "But his wife looked back behind him, and she became a pillar of salt."
Luke 17:32 "Remember Lot's wife."
When we look at Lot we automatically look at Lot's wife. Most sermons you have probably heard were about Lot's wife. But I want to start with Lot because I truly believe that the father, the husband, is the head of the home and what happens falls back on his leadership or lack of. I am sure you have heard the statement that everything rises and falls with leadership.
Since he is the leader/head of the home there are certain responsibilities that belong to him and he must be willing to fulfill them. When we go back to Lot, we see that he was lacking in the fundamentals that he needed as a father.
How did Lot get to where he was? What caused him to even consider going into Sodom? Let me add right here that our spiritual failure and downfall usually does not occur instantly. It is rather a process.
When Lot was in the negotiating stage with Abraham concerning which land to take there were several important considerations he failed to make.
He failed to look at the big picture of the consequences such a move would have.
He failed to consider the eternal over the immediate.
He failed to consider the importance of the spiritual over the material.
What attracted Lot to that area was: well watered plains and a popular modern city, great financial opportunities, opportunities for prestigious and influential positions, and politics.
Are these wrong in and of themselves? Of course not, however the determining factor is where you put your focus and place your priorities.
What caused his focus in life to go out of focus? What causes our fathers today to lose their proper focus?
I believe that Lot lacked five very important fundamental principles that affected his decisions. To be a godly father in our day we must have these five principles at work in our life and our homes.
So this article is a clarion call to all fathers, and young men who plan to be fathers, to open your heart to God today for His searchlight.
The first principle for us Dads is:
II. YOU MUST BE A MAN OF PRAYER
This is where you start, and this is where you end. Prayer is not optional. Prayer is an absolute necessity! We must make prayer our first priority before anything else. Prayer helps you become a spiritual man who then has the wisdom to do right.
Larry Crabb has said, "The key to becoming a more effective parent is to become an increasingly godly person."
We need to continue to pray with the Psalmist in 139:23-24 "23 Search me, O God, and know my heart: try me, and know my thoughts: 24 And see if there be any wicked way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting."
Be quick to admit your mistakes and shortcomings. There are many things that a father should pray for:
A. Fathers must pray for individual direction.
God will never lead you where the grace of God cannot keep you.
Please, do not try to convince me that God will lead you to a place where the evil influence of Satan can destroy your children. I do not believe it.
B. Husbands must pray for their wife daily.
We must pray that she will be a godly wife and mother to model before our children. We must pray that she, the godly wife, will not follow the call of this present society of self promotion and pride, or immodesty.
C. We must pray for our children and for their companions or companions to be.
D. We must pray for our influence upon society. Remember people are watching you.
E. We must pray for our families, neighbors, government leaders, church leaders, missionaries, the lost, etc.
II. YOU MUST BE A MAN OF PURPOSE
What is your purpose in life?
What are some of your major goals in life?
What is it that makes you tick?
What motivates your life to action?
What are your plans for tomorrow?
What do you think about the most?
What do you plan to accomplish in life?
A. When you are man of godly purpose you would rather serve God rather than self.
B. A man of purpose will keep focused upon God's call for his life.
C. A man of purpose will remember which things are temporal and which things are eternal.
There is nothing wrong in meeting the material needs of your family. He that does not meet the needs of his family is worse than an infidel. But the material things are a part of the temporal.
Our ultimate purpose for life is to make sure the spiritual needs have been met in our family, our wife and children.
However, it is hard to have the right purpose if we are not given to prayer.
III. YOU MUST BE A MAN OF PRINCIPLES
We are to live by God's PRINCIPLES, HIS WORD, and THE BIBLE.
A man of principles will live by certain guide-lines not by how he always feels or by how the world feels. Being a man of principles dictates how we live in the real work a day world.
In the 1990's the "Leaning Tower of Pisa" was finally reopened to the public, after having been closed for several years. During that time, engineers completed a 25 million dollar renovation project designed to stabilize the tower. They removed 110 tons of dirt, and reduced its famous lean by about sixteen inches.
Why was this necessary? Because the tower had been tilting further and further away from vertical for hundreds of years, to the point that the top of the 185-foot tower was seventeen feet further south than the bottom, and Italian authorities were concerned that if nothing was done, it would soon collapse.
What was the problem? Was it bad design, poor workmanship or an inferior grade of marble? No.
The problem was what was underneath. The tower was built on the shifting sands of a former estuary. The soil was not stable enough to support a monument of this size. The tower had no firm foundation.
What rules do you follow for life? A man who lives by godly principles will do the right thing when confronted, even if no one is looking.
When you are committed to living by principles then you want to do the right thing.
IV. YOU MUST BE A MAN COMMITTED TO PARENTING
It has been a sad day since some thought it was up to the mother to teach and train the children. I know the father goes out and works and brings home the bacon, but parenting is a joint effort with man placed as head of the home by God.
Lot forgot parenting when he did not teach his children how to serve and worship God.
Lot forgot parenting when he did not teach his daughters to choose a godly companion.
Have you taught your children to choose?
Dr. S.D. Herron once said, "We must teach our children how to live not to just make a living."
Too often as dads we: Invest our sons with marketplace competence, but not with moral conviction. We help our sons to become socially successful, but not spiritually significant. We give our sons good things but not the best things. (Robert Lewis in Raising a Modern-Day Knight)
Howard Hendricks said, "My greatest fear for you is not that you will fail but that you will succeed in doing the wrong thing."
We must teach our children how to work.
We must teach our children how to dress modestly.
We must teach our children how to go to church.
We must teach our children how to help others.
We must teach our children how to serve others.
We must teach our children how to stand alone for right.
Sometime we fathers feel like a failure but don't give up. The next time you feel like God can't use you, just remember:
Noah was a drunk; Abraham was too old;
Isaac was a daydreamer; Jacob was a liar;
Leah was ugly; Joseph was abused;
Moses had a stuttering problem;
Gideon was afraid;
Samson had long hair and was a womanizer;
Rahab was a prostitute;
Jeremiah and Timothy were too young;
David had an affair and was a murderer;
Elijah was suicidal; Isaiah preached naked;
Jonah ran from God; Naomi was a widow;
Job went bankrupt; John the Baptist ate bugs;
Peter denied Christ;
The Disciples fell asleep while praying;
Martha worried about everything;
The Samaritan woman was divorced, more than once;
Zaccheus was too small;
Paul was too religious and a persecutor of Christians;
Timothy had an ulcer... and Lazarus was dead!
No more excuses. God can use you to your full potential. Besides you aren't the message, you are just the messenger. Seize the moment, correct the course while you can, determine to be the man of God He has called you to be.
THE INVESTMENTS MADE FOR YOUR FAMILY SPIRITUALLY IN THIS LIFE PROVIDE DIVIDENDS THAT ARE OUT OF THIS WORLD.
V. YOU MUST BE A MAN OF PRACTICE
Practice what you preach; your family is following you. Somehow we have the idea that if we do something that may not be quite right, our children will not follow us but will do it right.
The things you want your children to do YOU MUST PRACTICE THEM YOURSELF.
If you want them to be honest then you must be honest.
If you want them to love God, they must know you love God.
If you want them to go to church, Sunday school, revival meetings, midweek prayer meetings? Then you better go.
What Lot practiced had a dramatic eternal impact on his wife and children.
BE A MAN OF PRACTICE!!
In the NY Times there was an article on affluent families on Long Island whose sons got in trouble with the law.
They were involved in drunkenness, crashing parties, stealing, etc. They interviewed the sons of these parents and almost all of the sons said their parents told them what was right. They knew right from wrong. But in almost everyone interviewed they said they watched their fathers cut corners, cheat on income tax, talk about their shady deals and the fact that they got away with it.
The columnist in the NY Times who was probably not very religious concluded; that after interviewing those sons, "What their father said was not nearly as important as what their father did."
Too often people will do right when they feel good. But I am here to tell you do right and then you will feel good.
CONCLUSION:
ARE YOU COMMITTED TO BEING A GODLY FATHER?
As we make this commitment we must allow God to shape our lives into the godly model He wants our children to follow.
In order for us to do this we must remember two things that God manifests toward us.
1. Unconditional love
2. Uncompromising commitment to help our children grow to full spiritual maturity.
Remember this verse of Scripture from Psalm 127:1,"Unless the Lord builds the house, they labor in vain who build it." It takes godly fathers, committed to God, dependent upon God, and partners with God to build a godly home. rel=nofollow http://www.crisisfamilycare.com
Bernard (Butch) Heath has served as Minister of Family Life at Hobe Sound Bible Church in Hobe Sound, Florida, for 13 years. His education includes a B.A. in Biblical Education from Hobe Sound Bible College, a M.A. in Pastoral Studies from Bob Jones University, and he is nearing completion of his Ph.D. from Trinity Theological Seminary.
He has pastored for many years and has a heart to help families, and many years of pastoral counseling experience. He has held marriage seminars and conferences in many states and other countries including Russia, Grand Cayman, Mexico, Honduras and Haiti.
He is the owner of Crisis Family Care, Inc. which is a non-profit business dedicated to helping families in need. Crisis Family Care, Inc. offers Free Marriage Counseling, Free Marriage Enrichment Seminars, Marriage Seminars for Download and many other resources for your marriage in crisis or marriage that needs help.
Bernard Heath
SE Bridge Rd.
Hobe Sound, FL 33455
(772) 263-2457 http://www.CrisisFamilyCare.com
Article Source: [http://EzineArticles.com/?Becoming-a-Godly-Father&id=6532159] Becoming a Godly Father
I realize many men have made contributions to create such responses. There have been men who have left their wife and children to make it on their own. They have physically, emotionally, sexually, and financially abused their wives.
There have been women who have not been very angelic as well. But that is no reason for our society to put down and try to destroy what God has created. Men are necessary for our world and families today.
We dads have an extremely important role to play in the life of our children. Being a dad takes a major commitment. We must see ourselves spending time with our children not only because it is important but also because our role as a father before our children is critical to their wellbeing.
We men work hard at times improving our skills in a variety of areas in our life. We want to be better at our work, better in our investments, better at setting corporate performance, and even better at our hobbies. But when was the last time we bought a book or attended a class to help us improve our skills in fathering?
Please understand I do understand that too many of us are products of parents who believed children were the responsibility of mothers. But Dads, we must be connected to the daily operation of our families and to be able to clearly see the needs of our children. We cannot remain on the sidelines and expect mothers alone to raise our children.
Dads, we are extremely important to the spiritual and physical wellbeing of our homes. Mothers are extremely important as well. But when you have a loving, engaged, and spiritually committed father then you have the ingredients to have a godly home.
When you look back into the Old Testament you find an example of a father who was not Godly. It is good to learn from the mistakes of others as is the case of this Biblical example.
READ:
Genesis 13:1-13.
Genesis 19:26 "But his wife looked back behind him, and she became a pillar of salt."
Luke 17:32 "Remember Lot's wife."
When we look at Lot we automatically look at Lot's wife. Most sermons you have probably heard were about Lot's wife. But I want to start with Lot because I truly believe that the father, the husband, is the head of the home and what happens falls back on his leadership or lack of. I am sure you have heard the statement that everything rises and falls with leadership.
Since he is the leader/head of the home there are certain responsibilities that belong to him and he must be willing to fulfill them. When we go back to Lot, we see that he was lacking in the fundamentals that he needed as a father.
How did Lot get to where he was? What caused him to even consider going into Sodom? Let me add right here that our spiritual failure and downfall usually does not occur instantly. It is rather a process.
When Lot was in the negotiating stage with Abraham concerning which land to take there were several important considerations he failed to make.
He failed to look at the big picture of the consequences such a move would have.
He failed to consider the eternal over the immediate.
He failed to consider the importance of the spiritual over the material.
What attracted Lot to that area was: well watered plains and a popular modern city, great financial opportunities, opportunities for prestigious and influential positions, and politics.
Are these wrong in and of themselves? Of course not, however the determining factor is where you put your focus and place your priorities.
What caused his focus in life to go out of focus? What causes our fathers today to lose their proper focus?
I believe that Lot lacked five very important fundamental principles that affected his decisions. To be a godly father in our day we must have these five principles at work in our life and our homes.
So this article is a clarion call to all fathers, and young men who plan to be fathers, to open your heart to God today for His searchlight.
The first principle for us Dads is:
II. YOU MUST BE A MAN OF PRAYER
This is where you start, and this is where you end. Prayer is not optional. Prayer is an absolute necessity! We must make prayer our first priority before anything else. Prayer helps you become a spiritual man who then has the wisdom to do right.
Larry Crabb has said, "The key to becoming a more effective parent is to become an increasingly godly person."
We need to continue to pray with the Psalmist in 139:23-24 "23 Search me, O God, and know my heart: try me, and know my thoughts: 24 And see if there be any wicked way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting."
Be quick to admit your mistakes and shortcomings. There are many things that a father should pray for:
A. Fathers must pray for individual direction.
God will never lead you where the grace of God cannot keep you.
Please, do not try to convince me that God will lead you to a place where the evil influence of Satan can destroy your children. I do not believe it.
B. Husbands must pray for their wife daily.
We must pray that she will be a godly wife and mother to model before our children. We must pray that she, the godly wife, will not follow the call of this present society of self promotion and pride, or immodesty.
C. We must pray for our children and for their companions or companions to be.
D. We must pray for our influence upon society. Remember people are watching you.
E. We must pray for our families, neighbors, government leaders, church leaders, missionaries, the lost, etc.
II. YOU MUST BE A MAN OF PURPOSE
What is your purpose in life?
What are some of your major goals in life?
What is it that makes you tick?
What motivates your life to action?
What are your plans for tomorrow?
What do you think about the most?
What do you plan to accomplish in life?
A. When you are man of godly purpose you would rather serve God rather than self.
B. A man of purpose will keep focused upon God's call for his life.
C. A man of purpose will remember which things are temporal and which things are eternal.
There is nothing wrong in meeting the material needs of your family. He that does not meet the needs of his family is worse than an infidel. But the material things are a part of the temporal.
Our ultimate purpose for life is to make sure the spiritual needs have been met in our family, our wife and children.
However, it is hard to have the right purpose if we are not given to prayer.
III. YOU MUST BE A MAN OF PRINCIPLES
We are to live by God's PRINCIPLES, HIS WORD, and THE BIBLE.
A man of principles will live by certain guide-lines not by how he always feels or by how the world feels. Being a man of principles dictates how we live in the real work a day world.
In the 1990's the "Leaning Tower of Pisa" was finally reopened to the public, after having been closed for several years. During that time, engineers completed a 25 million dollar renovation project designed to stabilize the tower. They removed 110 tons of dirt, and reduced its famous lean by about sixteen inches.
Why was this necessary? Because the tower had been tilting further and further away from vertical for hundreds of years, to the point that the top of the 185-foot tower was seventeen feet further south than the bottom, and Italian authorities were concerned that if nothing was done, it would soon collapse.
What was the problem? Was it bad design, poor workmanship or an inferior grade of marble? No.
The problem was what was underneath. The tower was built on the shifting sands of a former estuary. The soil was not stable enough to support a monument of this size. The tower had no firm foundation.
What rules do you follow for life? A man who lives by godly principles will do the right thing when confronted, even if no one is looking.
When you are committed to living by principles then you want to do the right thing.
IV. YOU MUST BE A MAN COMMITTED TO PARENTING
It has been a sad day since some thought it was up to the mother to teach and train the children. I know the father goes out and works and brings home the bacon, but parenting is a joint effort with man placed as head of the home by God.
Lot forgot parenting when he did not teach his children how to serve and worship God.
Lot forgot parenting when he did not teach his daughters to choose a godly companion.
Have you taught your children to choose?
Dr. S.D. Herron once said, "We must teach our children how to live not to just make a living."
Too often as dads we: Invest our sons with marketplace competence, but not with moral conviction. We help our sons to become socially successful, but not spiritually significant. We give our sons good things but not the best things. (Robert Lewis in Raising a Modern-Day Knight)
Howard Hendricks said, "My greatest fear for you is not that you will fail but that you will succeed in doing the wrong thing."
We must teach our children how to work.
We must teach our children how to dress modestly.
We must teach our children how to go to church.
We must teach our children how to help others.
We must teach our children how to serve others.
We must teach our children how to stand alone for right.
Sometime we fathers feel like a failure but don't give up. The next time you feel like God can't use you, just remember:
Noah was a drunk; Abraham was too old;
Isaac was a daydreamer; Jacob was a liar;
Leah was ugly; Joseph was abused;
Moses had a stuttering problem;
Gideon was afraid;
Samson had long hair and was a womanizer;
Rahab was a prostitute;
Jeremiah and Timothy were too young;
David had an affair and was a murderer;
Elijah was suicidal; Isaiah preached naked;
Jonah ran from God; Naomi was a widow;
Job went bankrupt; John the Baptist ate bugs;
Peter denied Christ;
The Disciples fell asleep while praying;
Martha worried about everything;
The Samaritan woman was divorced, more than once;
Zaccheus was too small;
Paul was too religious and a persecutor of Christians;
Timothy had an ulcer... and Lazarus was dead!
No more excuses. God can use you to your full potential. Besides you aren't the message, you are just the messenger. Seize the moment, correct the course while you can, determine to be the man of God He has called you to be.
THE INVESTMENTS MADE FOR YOUR FAMILY SPIRITUALLY IN THIS LIFE PROVIDE DIVIDENDS THAT ARE OUT OF THIS WORLD.
V. YOU MUST BE A MAN OF PRACTICE
Practice what you preach; your family is following you. Somehow we have the idea that if we do something that may not be quite right, our children will not follow us but will do it right.
The things you want your children to do YOU MUST PRACTICE THEM YOURSELF.
If you want them to be honest then you must be honest.
If you want them to love God, they must know you love God.
If you want them to go to church, Sunday school, revival meetings, midweek prayer meetings? Then you better go.
What Lot practiced had a dramatic eternal impact on his wife and children.
BE A MAN OF PRACTICE!!
In the NY Times there was an article on affluent families on Long Island whose sons got in trouble with the law.
They were involved in drunkenness, crashing parties, stealing, etc. They interviewed the sons of these parents and almost all of the sons said their parents told them what was right. They knew right from wrong. But in almost everyone interviewed they said they watched their fathers cut corners, cheat on income tax, talk about their shady deals and the fact that they got away with it.
The columnist in the NY Times who was probably not very religious concluded; that after interviewing those sons, "What their father said was not nearly as important as what their father did."
Too often people will do right when they feel good. But I am here to tell you do right and then you will feel good.
CONCLUSION:
ARE YOU COMMITTED TO BEING A GODLY FATHER?
As we make this commitment we must allow God to shape our lives into the godly model He wants our children to follow.
In order for us to do this we must remember two things that God manifests toward us.
1. Unconditional love
2. Uncompromising commitment to help our children grow to full spiritual maturity.
Remember this verse of Scripture from Psalm 127:1,"Unless the Lord builds the house, they labor in vain who build it." It takes godly fathers, committed to God, dependent upon God, and partners with God to build a godly home. rel=nofollow http://www.crisisfamilycare.com
Bernard (Butch) Heath has served as Minister of Family Life at Hobe Sound Bible Church in Hobe Sound, Florida, for 13 years. His education includes a B.A. in Biblical Education from Hobe Sound Bible College, a M.A. in Pastoral Studies from Bob Jones University, and he is nearing completion of his Ph.D. from Trinity Theological Seminary.
He has pastored for many years and has a heart to help families, and many years of pastoral counseling experience. He has held marriage seminars and conferences in many states and other countries including Russia, Grand Cayman, Mexico, Honduras and Haiti.
He is the owner of Crisis Family Care, Inc. which is a non-profit business dedicated to helping families in need. Crisis Family Care, Inc. offers Free Marriage Counseling, Free Marriage Enrichment Seminars, Marriage Seminars for Download and many other resources for your marriage in crisis or marriage that needs help.
Bernard Heath
SE Bridge Rd.
Hobe Sound, FL 33455
(772) 263-2457 http://www.CrisisFamilyCare.com
Article Source: [http://EzineArticles.com/?Becoming-a-Godly-Father&id=6532159] Becoming a Godly Father
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