Becoming a Godly Father

By [http://ezinearticles.com/?expert=Butch_Heath]Butch Heath
I realize many men have made contributions to create such responses. There have been men who have left their wife and children to make it on their own. They have physically, emotionally, sexually, and financially abused their wives.
There have been women who have not been very angelic as well. But that is no reason for our society to put down and try to destroy what God has created. Men are necessary for our world and families today.
We dads have an extremely important role to play in the life of our children. Being a dad takes a major commitment. We must see ourselves spending time with our children not only because it is important but also because our role as a father before our children is critical to their wellbeing.
We men work hard at times improving our skills in a variety of areas in our life. We want to be better at our work, better in our investments, better at setting corporate performance, and even better at our hobbies. But when was the last time we bought a book or attended a class to help us improve our skills in fathering?
Please understand I do understand that too many of us are products of parents who believed children were the responsibility of mothers. But Dads, we must be connected to the daily operation of our families and to be able to clearly see the needs of our children. We cannot remain on the sidelines and expect mothers alone to raise our children.
Dads, we are extremely important to the spiritual and physical wellbeing of our homes. Mothers are extremely important as well. But when you have a loving, engaged, and spiritually committed father then you have the ingredients to have a godly home.
When you look back into the Old Testament you find an example of a father who was not Godly. It is good to learn from the mistakes of others as is the case of this Biblical example.
READ:
Genesis 13:1-13.
Genesis 19:26 "But his wife looked back behind him, and she became a pillar of salt."
Luke 17:32 "Remember Lot's wife."
When we look at Lot we automatically look at Lot's wife. Most sermons you have probably heard were about Lot's wife. But I want to start with Lot because I truly believe that the father, the husband, is the head of the home and what happens falls back on his leadership or lack of. I am sure you have heard the statement that everything rises and falls with leadership.
Since he is the leader/head of the home there are certain responsibilities that belong to him and he must be willing to fulfill them. When we go back to Lot, we see that he was lacking in the fundamentals that he needed as a father.
How did Lot get to where he was? What caused him to even consider going into Sodom? Let me add right here that our spiritual failure and downfall usually does not occur instantly. It is rather a process.
When Lot was in the negotiating stage with Abraham concerning which land to take there were several important considerations he failed to make.
He failed to look at the big picture of the consequences such a move would have.
He failed to consider the eternal over the immediate.
He failed to consider the importance of the spiritual over the material.
What attracted Lot to that area was: well watered plains and a popular modern city, great financial opportunities, opportunities for prestigious and influential positions, and politics.
Are these wrong in and of themselves? Of course not, however the determining factor is where you put your focus and place your priorities.
What caused his focus in life to go out of focus? What causes our fathers today to lose their proper focus?
I believe that Lot lacked five very important fundamental principles that affected his decisions. To be a godly father in our day we must have these five principles at work in our life and our homes.
So this article is a clarion call to all fathers, and young men who plan to be fathers, to open your heart to God today for His searchlight.
The first principle for us Dads is:
II. YOU MUST BE A MAN OF PRAYER
This is where you start, and this is where you end. Prayer is not optional. Prayer is an absolute necessity! We must make prayer our first priority before anything else. Prayer helps you become a spiritual man who then has the wisdom to do right.
Larry Crabb has said, "The key to becoming a more effective parent is to become an increasingly godly person."
We need to continue to pray with the Psalmist in 139:23-24 "23 Search me, O God, and know my heart: try me, and know my thoughts: 24 And see if there be any wicked way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting."
Be quick to admit your mistakes and shortcomings. There are many things that a father should pray for:
A. Fathers must pray for individual direction.
God will never lead you where the grace of God cannot keep you.
Please, do not try to convince me that God will lead you to a place where the evil influence of Satan can destroy your children. I do not believe it.
B. Husbands must pray for their wife daily.
We must pray that she will be a godly wife and mother to model before our children. We must pray that she, the godly wife, will not follow the call of this present society of self promotion and pride, or immodesty.
C. We must pray for our children and for their companions or companions to be.
D. We must pray for our influence upon society. Remember people are watching you.
E. We must pray for our families, neighbors, government leaders, church leaders, missionaries, the lost, etc.
II. YOU MUST BE A MAN OF PURPOSE
What is your purpose in life?
What are some of your major goals in life?
What is it that makes you tick?
What motivates your life to action?
What are your plans for tomorrow?
What do you think about the most?
What do you plan to accomplish in life?
A. When you are man of godly purpose you would rather serve God rather than self.
B. A man of purpose will keep focused upon God's call for his life.
C. A man of purpose will remember which things are temporal and which things are eternal.
There is nothing wrong in meeting the material needs of your family. He that does not meet the needs of his family is worse than an infidel. But the material things are a part of the temporal.
Our ultimate purpose for life is to make sure the spiritual needs have been met in our family, our wife and children.
However, it is hard to have the right purpose if we are not given to prayer.
III. YOU MUST BE A MAN OF PRINCIPLES
We are to live by God's PRINCIPLES, HIS WORD, and THE BIBLE.
A man of principles will live by certain guide-lines not by how he always feels or by how the world feels. Being a man of principles dictates how we live in the real work a day world.
In the 1990's the "Leaning Tower of Pisa" was finally reopened to the public, after having been closed for several years. During that time, engineers completed a 25 million dollar renovation project designed to stabilize the tower. They removed 110 tons of dirt, and reduced its famous lean by about sixteen inches.
Why was this necessary? Because the tower had been tilting further and further away from vertical for hundreds of years, to the point that the top of the 185-foot tower was seventeen feet further south than the bottom, and Italian authorities were concerned that if nothing was done, it would soon collapse.
What was the problem? Was it bad design, poor workmanship or an inferior grade of marble? No.
The problem was what was underneath. The tower was built on the shifting sands of a former estuary. The soil was not stable enough to support a monument of this size. The tower had no firm foundation.
What rules do you follow for life? A man who lives by godly principles will do the right thing when confronted, even if no one is looking.
When you are committed to living by principles then you want to do the right thing.
IV. YOU MUST BE A MAN COMMITTED TO PARENTING
It has been a sad day since some thought it was up to the mother to teach and train the children. I know the father goes out and works and brings home the bacon, but parenting is a joint effort with man placed as head of the home by God.
Lot forgot parenting when he did not teach his children how to serve and worship God.
Lot forgot parenting when he did not teach his daughters to choose a godly companion.
Have you taught your children to choose?
Dr. S.D. Herron once said, "We must teach our children how to live not to just make a living."
Too often as dads we: Invest our sons with marketplace competence, but not with moral conviction. We help our sons to become socially successful, but not spiritually significant. We give our sons good things but not the best things. (Robert Lewis in Raising a Modern-Day Knight)
Howard Hendricks said, "My greatest fear for you is not that you will fail but that you will succeed in doing the wrong thing."
We must teach our children how to work.
We must teach our children how to dress modestly.
We must teach our children how to go to church.
We must teach our children how to help others.
We must teach our children how to serve others.
We must teach our children how to stand alone for right.
Sometime we fathers feel like a failure but don't give up. The next time you feel like God can't use you, just remember:
Noah was a drunk; Abraham was too old;
Isaac was a daydreamer; Jacob was a liar;
Leah was ugly; Joseph was abused;
Moses had a stuttering problem;
Gideon was afraid;
Samson had long hair and was a womanizer;
Rahab was a prostitute;
Jeremiah and Timothy were too young;
David had an affair and was a murderer;
Elijah was suicidal; Isaiah preached naked;
Jonah ran from God; Naomi was a widow;
Job went bankrupt; John the Baptist ate bugs;
Peter denied Christ;
The Disciples fell asleep while praying;
Martha worried about everything;
The Samaritan woman was divorced, more than once;
Zaccheus was too small;
Paul was too religious and a persecutor of Christians;
Timothy had an ulcer... and Lazarus was dead!
No more excuses. God can use you to your full potential. Besides you aren't the message, you are just the messenger. Seize the moment, correct the course while you can, determine to be the man of God He has called you to be.
THE INVESTMENTS MADE FOR YOUR FAMILY SPIRITUALLY IN THIS LIFE PROVIDE DIVIDENDS THAT ARE OUT OF THIS WORLD.
V. YOU MUST BE A MAN OF PRACTICE
Practice what you preach; your family is following you. Somehow we have the idea that if we do something that may not be quite right, our children will not follow us but will do it right.
The things you want your children to do YOU MUST PRACTICE THEM YOURSELF.

If you want them to be honest then you must be honest.
If you want them to love God, they must know you love God.
If you want them to go to church, Sunday school, revival meetings, midweek prayer meetings? Then you better go.

What Lot practiced had a dramatic eternal impact on his wife and children.
BE A MAN OF PRACTICE!!
In the NY Times there was an article on affluent families on Long Island whose sons got in trouble with the law.
They were involved in drunkenness, crashing parties, stealing, etc. They interviewed the sons of these parents and almost all of the sons said their parents told them what was right. They knew right from wrong. But in almost everyone interviewed they said they watched their fathers cut corners, cheat on income tax, talk about their shady deals and the fact that they got away with it.
The columnist in the NY Times who was probably not very religious concluded; that after interviewing those sons, "What their father said was not nearly as important as what their father did."
Too often people will do right when they feel good. But I am here to tell you do right and then you will feel good.
CONCLUSION:
ARE YOU COMMITTED TO BEING A GODLY FATHER?
As we make this commitment we must allow God to shape our lives into the godly model He wants our children to follow.
In order for us to do this we must remember two things that God manifests toward us.
1. Unconditional love
2. Uncompromising commitment to help our children grow to full spiritual maturity.
Remember this verse of Scripture from Psalm 127:1,"Unless the Lord builds the house, they labor in vain who build it." It takes godly fathers, committed to God, dependent upon God, and partners with God to build a godly home.   rel=nofollow http://www.crisisfamilycare.com
Bernard (Butch) Heath has served as Minister of Family Life at Hobe Sound Bible Church in Hobe Sound, Florida, for 13 years. His education includes a B.A. in Biblical Education from Hobe Sound Bible College, a M.A. in Pastoral Studies from Bob Jones University, and he is nearing completion of his Ph.D. from Trinity Theological Seminary.
He has pastored for many years and has a heart to help families, and many years of pastoral counseling experience. He has held marriage seminars and conferences in many states and other countries including Russia, Grand Cayman, Mexico, Honduras and Haiti.
He is the owner of Crisis Family Care, Inc. which is a non-profit business dedicated to helping families in need. Crisis Family Care, Inc. offers Free Marriage Counseling, Free Marriage Enrichment Seminars, Marriage Seminars for Download and many other resources for your marriage in crisis or marriage that needs help.
Bernard Heath
SE Bridge Rd.
Hobe Sound, FL 33455
(772) 263-2457 http://www.CrisisFamilyCare.com
Article Source: [http://EzineArticles.com/?Becoming-a-Godly-Father&id=6532159] Becoming a Godly Father