Being A Good Father Is A Choice

By [http://ezinearticles.com/?expert=Mike_O_Thompson]Mike O Thompson
As we grow up in life we are faced with many choices that we must make on a day-to-day basis. If you have fathered a child, being a good father is one of those choices.
Arnold J. Toynbee was quoted as saying; "As human beings, we are endowed with freedom of choice, and we cannot shuffle off our responsibility upon the shoulders of God or nature. We must shoulder it ourselves. It is our responsibility."
Maybe becoming a father wasn't what you had planned at that point in your life, if ever. Maybe it was like what Bill Cosby said: "I guess the real reason that my wife and I had children is the same reason that Napoleon had for invading Russia: it seemed like a good idea at the time." Nevertheless, it happened!
So I must ask you: what makes you think that you have the right to bring a child into this world and just leave him/her out for someone else to raise, teach, mentor, nurture, and all the other things only a father can do?
As a father, you are the role model to the kind of man your daughter is going to look for when picking her husband.
As a father, you are the role model your son will likely emulate as he grows up.
No matter the circumstances of how you became a father, or what you think and or feel about the mom, once you have brought a child into the world, whether you and the mom are together or not, it is your responsibility to be a good parent to that child.
A child's memory of their dad should not be centered around what someone else has said about them. Wouldn't it be better for them to have first-hand knowledge of the type of man you are? Memories of you that no one can erase?
Even thought my dad died when I was 11 years old and was away a lot fighting in the Korean and Vietnam War, I still have some of my greatest memories of him. When he was home, Friday nights he would stay up with my sister and I and watch movies. We would wake up the next morning and watch cartoons together. He would take us on trips, sightseeing, carnivals, and sometimes just simply hang out with us. These are memories that will stay with me for the rest of my life. These memories are a part of his legacy he left behind.
Mothers, unless you made this child all by yourself, what makes you think you have the right to keep the child away from a man that has done nothing that would bring any harm to the child?
Most mothers will even admit that children react differently when a man speaks then when she does. Men have that authoritative type voice. When a man tells a child to do something or not to do something, the reaction from a child is different. Even if you are a strong woman like my mom was it was still different when my dad told me to do something compared to my mom.
Moms and Dads: what kind of memories are you planting in your child's head? Dads: what kind of legacy are you leaving for your child? What do you want your child to say about you? Mothers: if you really love your child, do you really think it is right that they grow up without a father in their lives or memories of a man that you have painted a negative picture of?
In case you have not seen statistics on the affect on a fatherless child, here are just a few of them:

63% of youth suicides are from fatherless homes. (U.S. D.H.H.S - Bureau of Census)
71% of high school dropouts come from fatherless homes. (National Principles Association Report on the state of high schools)
90% of all homeless and runaway children are from fatherless homes.

So you can see that no matter what anyone has led you to believe, the presence of a father in a child's life does matter! We hear all the time about how important a mother is in a child's life, and they are, but so are fathers!
Ask yourself, what kind of life long memories are you helping them to form? Keep in count that negative thoughts often bring on negative reactions and behaviors.
Both parents needs to always remember and think about just how much impact you have on your children.
Wouldn't you want to be in her life as a good father so she can see what a good father looks like? Or is it okay with you that she grows up to marry a man that treats her like she is less of a human being, his footstool, his maid, belittling her, hitting her, and so on. You know the type.
Being a father myself, I must agree with Bill Cosby when he said, "Nothing I've ever done has given me more joys and rewards than being a father to my children."
I also must agree with Wilhelm Busch when he said, "Becoming a father is easy enough, but being one can be very rough."
No one ever said it would be easy. Being a good father IS a choice. What kind of father are you choosing to be?
Have you taken the easy road out or are you being there for you child?
In closing, Lois McMaster Bujold sums it up nicely when he said, "I am who I choose to be. I always have been what I chose - though not always what I pleased."
Mike Thompson
The Father's Show Resource Program
Article Source: [http://EzineArticles.com/?Being-A-Good-Father-Is-A-Choice&id=6435471] Being A Good Father Is A Choice