Young Guys Living With Their Parents Don't Become Men

By [http://ezinearticles.com/?expert=Ken_Solin]Ken Solin
While a lot of Boomer men seem stuck in their time warps, many younger guys appear to be in a different but equally dysfunctional warp, the parental warp. The fathers of sons now in their twenties and thirties, raised them with little or no information about their own manhood. The results were predictable.
Character is only built through facing up to hardships and challenges. No man ever developed character simply because he was born into money or because he never left home. The young men who move back into their parents' homes for financial or other reasons aren't facing their challenges, and are likely to become men with little noticeable character. That's unfortunate and unnecessary.
Too many young men are clueless about women or how to be in successful relationships. They know how to hook-up, but that doesn't mean they know what an actual relationship looks like. Being sexual isn't much of a struggle for young guys, but adding an emotional component to make it into a relationship remains a mystery. Living at home doesn't allow for much social development.
It might have helped if fathers had been teaching their sons what acting like a man actually looks like, but since most fathers were never taught either, their sons grew up as devoid of a notion of manhood as they did.
Each time a father shares with me that he's allowed his son to move back into his home, I shudder to think how that young man's development has been arrested. He's moving backward. He's like a man who's wearing an emotional diaper.
It seems like it's all falling apart for young guys who have been waiting in vain for useful lessons from their dysfunctional fathers. Rather than teaching their sons how to fend for themselves, fathers move them back into their boyhood bedrooms. What type of man is this likely to produce? He will have a boy's emotional range and a man's body. It sounds like a horror movie.
This purported act of kindness is in fact incredibly unkind. Fathers inflict their own fears onto their sons by coddling them instead of nurturing them. The difference is that men who are coddled never grow into functioning men, while men who are nurtured are prepared to fend for themselves.
Fathers, who contend that they could never put their sons out on the street because they can't find jobs or affordable housing, aren't looking forward or acting like caring fathers. They aren't considering the damage they're doing to their sons. What's worse, a young man who has to flip burgers for a while and share an apartment with six other young guys, or a young man who spends his days and nights in his boyhood bedroom pretending to be a man?
For twenty years, author and lecturer Ken Solin has helped men move beyond the issues that limit their lives. Both men and women follow Ken since his work is primarily about relationships.
Ken's website, http://www.kensolin.com/ is filled blogs about real life problems.
There's a frank, gritty, 42 minute television pilot about men that will surprise men and women alike.
There's also book excerpts from Ken's new, soon to be published book, Eight Angry Men.
Article Source: [http://EzineArticles.com/?Young-Guys-Living-With-Their-Parents-Dont-Become-Men&id=6383999] Young Guys Living With Their Parents Don't Become Men