Positive Ways To Make Defiant Children Listen to You

By [http://ezinearticles.com/?expert=Murphy_Isaac]Murphy Isaac
In today's parenting, you don't need to teach a child to be defiant. Many studies had been conducted and psychologists found out that misbehave children feel the need to be in control.
As a parent, you may ask yourself is this too much for you to handle? It is clearly a power struggle of a different kind. Stress is a constant contributing factor to their actions and both sensitive and defiant children are not spare.
For them to seek security they will rebel against you to seek attention and sometimes it makes you feel you are not in charge anymore. At times, your child may display a feeling of solitude and at such moments, seize the opportunity to share with her that you really love her very much even you do not condone her actions.
These are some of the mis-behaviors that you are likely to have experienced and still finding them challenging.
� Throwing temper
� Bitterness
� Revengeful
� Annoy easily by others
� Always feeling angry easily
� Disobeying rules
When it the time of year for the teacher to meet the parents' session, somehow you are not surprise of the feedback that the childcare provider or the school have for your child, you have heard it before many times.
Now you begin to question, when and how your child is going to improve? Your mind begins racing to find solutions!
Are you going to remove your child her favorite candy for a period of time as a means of discipline? And hopefully expect a good behavior from your method? Well, this technique might be effective for once or twice but it may not be a foolproof solution to your problem.
Let me give you a suggestion, rather than depriving her from her favorite candy for the few days, introduce a "time out" approach. Your child will be actively deciding on her behavior. No fretting and no fuss from you, it is non-invasive, non-confrontation and is one of the many best means of discipline.
With this approach, you are sending a very clear message that mummy or daddy is not accepting such behaviors from her and in no time she will learn to comprehend this. All the while, be clear with your body language and after the "time out" period is over, share with her that you are still very much love by mummy and daddy!
Other useful methods is effective communication, instead of reprimanding your child with a negative feedback; give an affirmative one to reinforce constructive and encouraging possessiveness in her.
Here are two examples, do not say things like, "do not yell at your brother," instead articulate this, "please speak softly to your brother." Or "don't be rude to your grandpa," instead it becomes, "please be obedient to your grandpa." And after some time, your child had corrected herself; do not hesitate to make known to her that you were proud of her obedience and use words like "thank you for your effort." This will also encourage her to use such words in the future.
Try to look out for good behaviors and make it a point to praise her for her attempt. Complimenting her for the job well done goes a long way to reinforce self-esteem and confidence in your child. Just remember to be generous with your praises and minimize criticism. Genuine tender loving care is great encouragement.
At times, you may feel weighed down from the constant testing of your child. Just take heart, and bear in mind you are not alone in this world, parents do go through this phase of parenting, it is a worldwide phenomena. Also, your child really needs you to lead her in this chapter of character building.
Do seek assistance from professionals and self help books if you really need to. Last but not least, forming a parent group support is another great way for you to share experiences and keep your sanity.
Murphy Isaac is a father of 2 and is passionate with Parenting. To get more free tips and advice on Parenting on [http://lovefatherhood.com]click here to subscribe to my free newsletter (worth US$197) Or visit my website @ [http://lovefatherhood.com]www.lovefatherhood.com
Article Source: [http://EzineArticles.com/?Positive-Ways-To-Make-Defiant-Children-Listen-to-You&id=6304310] Positive Ways To Make Defiant Children Listen to You